The short answer is: Yes, very often they do.
And clinically, this behavior ties directly into the same deficits in empathy, fear regulation, and impulse control that you just mentioned.
Let’s go deeper into the psychology and neuroscience behind it:
1. Pornography, Sex, and the Reward System
In all humans, sex and sexual imagery activate the brain’s reward circuits, especially the nucleus accumbens, ventral tegmental area, and amygdala.
These areas release dopamine — the neurotransmitter of pleasure, craving, and reinforcement.
In healthy brains, this dopamine release is tempered by empathy, emotional bonding (mediated by oxytocin), and respect for partners.
In abusive or psychopathic individuals, however, that regulation is missing or impaired.
- Instead of associating sex with intimacy, they associate it with conquest, domination, and self-gratification.
- Pornography — especially violent or degrading types — can reinforce this link between sexual pleasure and domination.
- Secret sexual behaviors (affairs, compulsive porn use, risky encounters) become an extension of their need for power, control, and excitement.
Key point:
For these abusers, sexual conquest is not about connection — it’s about winning, overpowering, and “feeding” their grandiosity.
2. Low Fear and High Impulsivity Lead to Riskier Sexual Behavior
Psychopathic individuals have reduced activity in the amygdala, which normally processes fear, risk, and emotional responses.
When that fear response is muted:
- Risky sexual behavior feels thrilling, not frightening.
- Secret betrayals feel exciting, not guilt-inducing.
- Consequences (hurting partners, endangering families) don’t register emotionally.
Clinical studies show that people high in psychopathy and impulsivity are significantly more likely to engage in:
- Infidelity
- Compulsive pornography use
- High-risk sexual behavior (unprotected sex, multiple partners)
- Sexual coercion or manipulation
Because they don’t experience normal anxiety about being caught or harming others, the behavior escalates over time if unchecked.
3. Dominance, Degradation, and the Dark Triad
Researchers often refer to the Dark Triad of personality traits:
- Narcissism (grandiosity, entitlement)
- Machiavellianism (manipulativeness, deceit)
- Psychopathy (callousness, impulsivity)
Dark Triad individuals often view sex as a “game” of dominance and humiliation.
Pornography, secret affairs, or secret sexual control over others (e.g., sexting, blackmail, coercion) fit perfectly into this mindset.
In these cases:
- The act of deceiving a partner adds to the “high.”
- The secret becomes a source of private power — “I know something you don’t.”
- Each betrayal reaffirms their superiority and dehumanizes the partner further.
This is also why many survivors report feeling like “objects” rather than people during or after being with an abusive partner.
4. Sadism, Porn, and Power
A small but important addition:
In individuals with sadistic traits (those who find actual pleasure in suffering), violent or degrading pornography can fuel and normalize aggressive sexual fantasies.
- Sadistic abusers may seek out porn that humiliates, degrades, or brutalizes others.
- Over time, desensitization can occur, meaning they need more extreme material or more extreme real-life acts to achieve the same level of arousal and dominance.
Pornography, secret sex, and domination aren’t just private vices here — they become tools of psychological abuse:
- Threats of exposure (“If you leave, I’ll show everyone”)
- Sexual coercion within relationships
- Degradation used to shatter the victim’s self-worth
It’s another layer of the same system of coercive control, rewarded by the brain, unrestrained by empathy.
Final Reflections (Clinically and Compassionately)
When psychologists say that abusers “get off” on dominating their victims — whether through public humiliation, dragging in family, or secret sexual betrayal — they mean it quite literally:
- Their brain’s pleasure systems reward them for cruelty.
- Their emotional and fear regulation systems fail to check or moderate their behavior.
- Their interpersonal relationships become arenas for domination rather than connection.
This doesn’t excuse the behavior.
It simply shows that it is deeply wired into their disordered emotional and neurobiological makeup — and that no amount of love, loyalty, or forgiveness from the victim could ever “fix” it.
To any survivor reading this:
- Their secret betrayals were never about you being “not enough.”
- Their cruelty was never about you lacking worth.
- It was always about their emptiness — their craving for control at any cost.
You deserved better. You still deserve better.
And healing means reclaiming your body, your trust, and your joy from those who tried to corrupt them.
🌿
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
