Love isn’t transactional, and it’s certainly not something that can be switched on and off based on convenience. True love—whether romantic, familial, or platonic—is built on respect, trust, and consistency. When someone only “loves” you when it benefits them, that’s not love at all. It’s manipulation.

Abusers often live in denial, not just to others but also to themselves. They rewrite history, tell lies, and create a narrative that serves them, often to protect their image or avoid accountability. They convince themselves and others that they’re the victim or that they did nothing wrong, all while ignoring the pain they’ve caused.

But the truth is, when you see through it—when you’ve reached that place of clarity where the lies no longer cloud your vision—there’s no going back. No amount of excuses, apologies, or twisted justifications can erase what has already been revealed. The moment you recognize that love should never be conditional, manipulative, or used as a bargaining chip, you free yourself from their cycle.

It sounds like you’ve reached that place where you see things for what they are. That’s a powerful and liberating realization. Keep holding onto that truth because it will guide you forward—toward genuine love, peace, and a future that is free from their control.