It’s always interesting to hear how others perceive a couple, and over the years, I’ve received more than my fair share of comments about how mismatched my husband and I seem to be—in both looks and personality. Some of our friends, particularly here in Spain, have even admitted they were surprised when they first met us. A few went so far as to confess, in hindsight, that they found him unattractive but chose to hold their tongues to spare my feelings.

Apparently, some were expecting someone dashing—a George Clooney type, perhaps—but instead encountered a person who didn’t quite meet their expectations, neither in charm nor appearance. While I appreciate their discretion at the time, these reflections have certainly added another layer to my own observations about our relationship.

It’s not just about physical appearances, though. Personality plays an even bigger role in how people perceive couples. His demeanor—often arrogant, distant, and, at times, downright unpleasant—does little to endear him to those who meet him. This stark contrast between us seems to have left many scratching their heads, wondering how we came to be a pair in the first place.

To be fair, relationships are rarely about external opinions or first impressions. What matters is the connection between two people, the bond that keeps them together. But when that bond is strained by one-sided effort, inconsiderate behavior, or a lack of mutual respect, it’s hard not to wonder if those early judgments held some truth.

As I reflect on these comments, I’m reminded that perception isn’t everything—but it isn’t nothing, either. Perhaps it’s time to consider whether we’re still aligned in the ways that truly matter, or if the mismatched puzzle pieces that others saw so clearly have simply drifted further apart over time.