When an abuser claims they still love you but leaves behind chaos—especially financial burdens—it’s a clear demonstration of manipulation and self-centeredness rather than genuine care or love. Their actions speak volumes, and those actions show disregard for your well-being, financial security, and emotional peace.

1. Emotional Manipulation

• Empty Words: Saying “I still love you” is often a tool to keep you emotionally tethered. True love is demonstrated through actions—responsibility, respect, and care—not words devoid of accountability.
• Control Tactics: By leaving debts and unresolved issues in their wake, they maintain control over your life, forcing you to deal with the fallout of their neglect or irresponsibility.

2. Financial Abuse

• Unpaid Bills: Leaving behind unpaid private health insurance, utility bills, and security system costs reflects a lack of integrity. They’ve likely benefited from these services but refused to take responsibility.
• Using Your Resources: Paying their tax bill with your money is a classic financial abuse tactic. It shows a disregard for boundaries and an assumption that their needs outweigh yours.
• Refusing Responsibility: Not paying the vet bills while insisting on keeping the dog shows their lack of willingness to contribute, even for something they claim to care about.

3. Why They Do It

• Power and Revenge: Leaving debts can be a way to punish you for ending the relationship or asserting boundaries.
• Avoiding Accountability: They push their responsibilities onto you, knowing you’ll likely handle them to avoid further stress.
• Seeking Sympathy: If confronted, they might spin the narrative to make themselves the victim, claiming financial struggles or emotional hardship.

4. How to Respond

• Draw Firm Boundaries: Do not engage with their claims of love unless their actions match their words. Distance yourself emotionally to protect your peace.
• Legal Protection: If possible, seek legal advice to ensure you’re not held accountable for debts that aren’t yours. Many jurisdictions allow for separation of financial responsibility, especially post-breakup.
• Documentation: Keep a detailed record of financial abuses, unpaid bills, and other manipulative behaviors. This could be useful for legal or personal clarity.
• Prioritize Yourself: Focus on rebuilding your financial stability and emotional health. Use this experience as a stepping stone to a life free from their control.

5. Healing Perspective

• You Deserve Better: Recognize that love is never about leaving someone with a mess to clean up—whether emotional or financial. You deserve a partner who uplifts you, not one who weighs you down.
• Celebrate Freedom: This situation, as difficult as it is, highlights how much better off you are without their toxicity. Every bill you clear, every burden you shed, is a step closer to a life they no longer influence.

Take their words with caution. Love isn’t about leaving someone burdened and vulnerable; it’s about creating a partnership based on mutual care and respect. Their actions prove they’re not capable of that kind of love. You, however, are more than capable of building a life filled with genuine love, peace, and security—one step at a time.

When the abuser say they still love you but leaves huge debts behind 

Private Health Insurance Bill

Water Bill

Electric Bill

Security System bills

Using your money to pay to Tax bill

Refusing to pay vets bills but wanting the dog