Dealing with hypocritical liars and cheats, especially those who embezzle money or exploit situations for personal gain, can evoke a powerful mix of anger, disappointment, and disbelief. These individuals often present themselves as moral, upstanding, or trustworthy, but behind the facade, they engage in dishonest and unethical behavior to satisfy their own desires. It can be difficult to comprehend how they can live with themselves, given the harm they cause to others in the process.

What makes it even more frustrating is that these people often seem to avoid real accountability or fail to learn from the consequences of their actions. Instead of reflecting and changing, they might deflect responsibility, blame others, or justify their behavior, continuing to make the same mistakes over and over. This is a pattern that can be especially toxic because it undermines trust, leaves others feeling betrayed, and creates an atmosphere of dishonesty.

Why Do People Like This Act This Way?

Hypocrites and cheats often have deep-rooted insecurities, fears, or a sense of entitlement that drive their actions. They might believe that the rules don’t apply to them or that they’re entitled to manipulate situations for their own benefit. They justify their actions by rationalizing their bad behavior, perhaps telling themselves that “everyone does it” or that they “deserve it” more than others. This mindset can be reinforced if they’ve previously gotten away with similar actions without facing real consequences.

For some, the inability to learn from their mistakes may stem from a lack of self-awareness, an inability to empathize with others, or a complete disregard for the impact their actions have on those around them. In cases where they’ve faced consequences for their behavior, they may view those repercussions as a form of “bad luck” rather than a reflection of their own wrongdoing, and thus, they never truly internalize the need for change.

Why Do They Never Learn?

1. Lack of Accountability: When these individuals are never held truly accountable, they don’t face the necessary consequences that would lead to introspection and growth. If their behavior has led to punishment, they may simply blame others or twist the narrative, reinforcing the idea that they’re a victim of circumstances beyond their control.
2. Entitlement Mentality: Some people feel entitled to manipulate or cheat because they believe they deserve more than others, or they don’t have the same moral compunctions. They might even see their dishonest behavior as justified, viewing the world as a place where only the “strong” succeed, often at the expense of others.
3. Perpetual Self-Deception: People who repeatedly lie and cheat may begin to believe their own lies. They build a false narrative where they see themselves as blameless, or they might engage in gaslighting, manipulating others into thinking they are the ones at fault. This constant self-deception prevents them from confronting the real issues in their behavior.
4. Greed and Power: For some, greed and the thirst for power become all-consuming. The pursuit of personal gain, regardless of the harm it causes, can cloud their ability to see beyond their own desires. They may use others as pawns, without regard for their humanity or feelings.
5. Emotional Deficit: Hypocrites and cheats may lack emotional intelligence, empathy, or an understanding of how their actions affect others. They might be so focused on their own needs or desires that they fail to understand the emotional or financial toll they inflict on others.

How to Handle It

1. Distance Yourself Emotionally: One of the hardest things is to accept that these people may never change, no matter how many chances they get or how much pain they cause. The sooner you can detach emotionally, the better. Understand that they are likely stuck in a cycle they can’t break, and your involvement in trying to change them might just cause you more frustration.
2. Set Boundaries and Limit Interaction: If these individuals are part of your personal or professional life, it’s essential to set firm boundaries. This could mean limiting your communication or distancing yourself entirely if necessary. Protect your time, energy, and resources by cutting off opportunities for them to continue manipulating or taking advantage of you.
3. Don’t Internalize Their Lies: It’s easy to start doubting yourself when someone constantly lies, cheats, or manipulates. Don’t internalize their false narrative. Trust your own version of the truth, and recognize that they may be projecting their own inadequacies onto you to divert attention from their wrongdoings.
4. Expose Their Behavior (if Appropriate): In some situations, you might feel the need to expose their behavior, particularly if it has had serious financial or emotional consequences for others. If you feel safe doing so, confronting them with the facts and holding them accountable can be a way to reclaim power in the situation. However, be mindful of the potential fallout—some individuals will react aggressively when their lies are exposed.
5. Focus on Your Own Growth: While it’s easy to get consumed by the actions of others, focus on your own personal development and healing. Surround yourself with people who value honesty, integrity, and accountability. Engage in activities and relationships that support your values, and work on building your own emotional resilience.
6. Let Go of Expecting Change: It’s important to let go of the expectation that people who act this way will ever truly change, especially if they have shown no willingness to do so. Sometimes, accepting this reality is the most freeing thing you can do. It allows you to stop expending energy on someone who will likely never see the error of their ways.
7. Seek Support from Trusted Allies: If you’ve been affected by their behavior—whether financially, emotionally, or psychologically—having a support network is crucial. Talking to people who understand what you’re going through can provide emotional validation and offer perspective. In some cases, legal or financial advisors may be necessary to help you recover or protect yourself.

Healing and Moving On

Dealing with people who deceive and exploit others for their own gain is painful, especially when you have seen firsthand the consequences of their actions. But healing comes from understanding that they are not your responsibility. It’s important to focus on your own well-being and avoid becoming trapped in their toxic cycle. As frustrating as it is, some people simply will never change—and that’s a truth you must accept in order to move forward. Protect your energy, trust your own judgment, and allow yourself the space to grow beyond their deceitful influence.