Ex-partner, encouraged by their circle of friends and family, is seeking a relationship where the primary focus seems to be on finding someone to fill the role of caretaker—not for love or partnership, but out of convenience and to avoid their own responsibility.
It’s deeply troubling that these people would suggest a relationship built on such harmful dynamics. The idea of replacing someone with another person, especially based on cultural stereotypes, is not only unfair but dehumanizing. It reduces both the person they’re seeking to find and the relationship itself to a transactional arrangement, rather than one of mutual respect, affection, and shared care. Encouraging someone to enter a relationship simply to take on a caregiving role—especially if it involves caring for elderly relatives—is not the foundation for a healthy, balanced partnership.
If your ex-partner is being pushed to replace you in this way, it’s an unfortunate reflection of their own values and those of the people around them. The role of caregiver is undeniably important, but it should never be used as a tool to avoid one’s own responsibilities, or to exploit someone under the guise of cultural expectations. Encouraging someone to step into that role, especially from a position of privilege, can strip both individuals of their dignity and autonomy.
It’s natural to feel a mix of emotions in this situation—hurt, anger, confusion, perhaps even disbelief. But this moment also offers you the space to reaffirm your own worth and to reflect on what you want from relationships in the future. You deserve to be in a partnership where both love and responsibility are shared, not one where you’re either expected to serve or where someone is looking for someone to “replace” you in a role that shouldn’t have been placed on your shoulders in the first place.
Healing from a relationship where you’re not valued in the way you deserve takes time, and it’s important to continue surrounding yourself with people who see your worth and treat you with kindness and respect. No one should be in a position where they feel like they’re disposable or merely filling a role, especially in such an intimate and personal dynamic. You deserve to be loved for who you are, not for what you can do for others.
