Marriage is never perfect, but when both partners are committed, it can be manageable—even in difficult circumstances. I was finding my way in Spain, building my own life as I always had, and despite the challenges, I was making it work. But looking back, one of the biggest mistakes I ever made was trusting the… Read More The Dangers of Confiding in the Wrong People: A Personal Reflection
For people who have never been in an abusive relationship, it’s easy to judge infidelity as a black-and-white issue. But when you’ve been starved of love, respect, and emotional safety for years, your perspective shifts. It’s not about betrayal—it’s about survival. Why Do Abused People Seek a New Partner? 🔴 They Need to Feel Like a Person Again.Abuse strips… Read More Starved of Love and Affection
True intimacy is built on trust, respect, and emotional safety. When someone has abused you—mentally, emotionally, or physically—those foundations are destroyed. 🚨 You can’t desire someone you fear.🚨 You can’t connect with someone who has dehumanized you.🚨 You can’t be vulnerable with someone who uses intimacy as a weapon. Why Abused Women Often Seek Affairs For many women who have… Read More Why Sexual Chemistry Dies in an Abusive Relationship
A narcissist’s life is a revolving door of “supplies”—people they use for wealth, validation, and status. They don’t seek love or deep connection. They seek resources and admiration to maintain their illusion of success. 💰 They need someone to fund their lifestyle.🪞 They need someone to reflect their “greatness” back at them.🎭 They need an audience to keep up their image.… Read More The Narcissist’s Endless Search for a New Supply
True success isn’t measured by material possessions, status, or the image someone tries to project—it’s measured by how they treat others, especially those closest to them. 💡 An expensive house doesn’t mean a happy home.💡 A flashy lifestyle doesn’t mean an honest life.💡 What someone shows to the world is nothing compared to how they behave behind closed doors.… Read More Pretending is never real power
This is classic isolation and control. Your abuser knows that if you have support, you will gain the strength to leave—so they cut you off from anyone who might help you. 🔴 They FEAR exposure more than they care about you. Their priority isn’t fixing the relationship—it’s silencing you.🔴 They use fear, guilt, or manipulation to keep you away from others.🔴 They… Read More When You Confide in Others & Your Abuser Cuts You Off From Them
Once an abuser has strangled you, the dynamic of the relationship permanently shifts—because you now know they are capable of killing you. This isn’t love. This is survival. 💔 You stop feeling safe and start walking on eggshells.💔 You question every word, every action, trying not to trigger another attack.💔 You may even convince yourself to stay—because leaving feels just as terrifying.… Read More Fear Replaces Love After Strangulation
When an abuser’s own family shrugs off strangulation, covers it up, and even blames you, they are actively enabling the abuse and putting your life in further danger. Why Do Families Defend Abusers? The Smear Campaign: Trying to Silence You Once abusers (and their enablers) realize you are not staying silent, they often escalate to a full-blown smear campaign: 🚩 They Call… Read More They Are Just as Dangerous
Yes, unless they are held accountable and undergo serious intervention, abusers who strangle will repeat this behavior—and it often escalates to even more extreme violence. Why Do They Escalate With Each New Partner? 🚩 They Test Boundaries & Learn What They Can Get Away With 🚩 Each Relationship Becomes More Extreme 🚩 Strangulation is Often a Step Toward Homicide 🚩 Abusers… Read More Walking Time Bomb
You cannot truly move on in a relationship after strangulation—because the dynamic has already shifted into one of power, control, and terror. Strangulation is not a loss of temper or a moment of passion gone wrong. It is a premeditated display of control over life and death. The fact that they didn’t kill you this time does not mean they won’t next time. Many… Read More What Happens to Intimacy and Closeness After Strangulation?
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 