How Long Extinction Bursts Last

An extinction burst occurs when a learned cruel or controlling behaviour no longer produces the expected reward (reaction, submission, compliance). Duration Phase Typical Duration Description Initial Burst Minutes → hours Immediate spike in intensity after boundary is enforced or silence is introduced. Secondary Burst 1–3 days Abuser may try repeated escalation, switching tactics or targets to restore… Read More How Long Extinction Bursts Last

Moral High Ground

When someone takes the “moral high ground” while their family has a documented history of serious misconduct, such as conviction for theft while in a professional fiduciary role. This is both ethically and psychologically complex, and it’s worth unpacking carefully. 1. Understand the Dynamics Psychological effects of this dynamic: 2. How This Affects Others When someone with this… Read More Moral High Ground

🧠 WHY ABUSERS RUSH MARRIAGE AND RELOCATION

This pattern is so consistent that clinicians, domestic-abuse assessors, and family courts treat it as a major red flagrather than a coincidence. I’ll explain it cleanly and calmly, from both a psychological and neuroscience perspective. The short answer Because speed collapses your ability to evaluate, and distance collapses your ability to escape. Together, they lock control into place. 1. RUSHED MARRIAGE = LEGAL +… Read More 🧠 WHY ABUSERS RUSH MARRIAGE AND RELOCATION

“Once someone is willing to lie under oath, the relationship is already dead.”

“Once someone is willing to lie under oath, the relationship is already dead.” Here’s why — grounded in neuroscience, psychology, and ethics: Why Lying Under Oath Kills a Relationship Permanently 1. It Destroys the Brain’s Safety Model The human attachment system relies on one core question: “Is this person fundamentally safe and truthful?” Lying under oath… Read More “Once someone is willing to lie under oath, the relationship is already dead.”

Bluffing and legal intimidation

1. Bluffing ≠ Confidence in Truth PsychologyPeople who threaten legal action without substance rely on a common bias: Most people associate legal threats with innocence or strength. In reality, habitual bluffers understand that: This is coercive persuasion, not honesty. 2. Years of Practice Rewire Behaviour (Neuroscience) Neuroplasticity means the brain strengthens whatever it repeats. In long-term deceivers:… Read More Bluffing and legal intimidation

Heuristic processing

Heuristic processing is a way the brain makes quick judgments and decisions using mental shortcuts, rather than slow, detailed analysis. In simple terms:👉 “This feels right based on past experience, so I’ll go with it.” How heuristic processing works Your brain uses rules of thumb to save time and energy. Instead of evaluating all available information, it relies on patterns,… Read More Heuristic processing

Calm truth creates cognitive dissonance they cannot tolerate

Cognitive dissonance occurs when reality clashes with a person’s self-image. Most abusers hold an internal narrative such as: Your calm, factual truth introduces a competing reality without emotion. That’s the key. Anger can be dismissed.Calm facts cannot. Neuroscience shows that when dissonance cannot be resolved externally (through arguing or provoking), the brain attempts to resolve it internally by… Read More Calm truth creates cognitive dissonance they cannot tolerate

Judgement

“What You See Is Not What Is Happening” Why People Jump to Assumptions — Neuroscience & Psychology 1. The brain is a pattern-completion machine The human brain evolved to make fast judgments, not accurate ones. When people see: the brain automatically fills in the gaps using past social templates: “Couple.” “Affair.” “Relationship.” This is driven by the hippocampus and predictive… Read More Judgement

God’s Waiting Room: Embracing Impermanence and Meaning

“God’s Waiting Room” is a concept that captures a universal human truth: life is temporary, connections are fleeting, and endings — both small and large — are inevitable. While the term itself isn’t formally named in psychology, it resonates strongly across multiple disciplines and philosophies. 1. Existential Psychology Thinkers like Viktor Frankl and Irvin Yalom… Read More God’s Waiting Room: Embracing Impermanence and Meaning

“It Didn’t Take My Psychologist Long to See It”: The Neuroscience Behind Denial in Abusive Behaviour

It’s almost laughable how quickly a trained psychologist can see through someone like him.The patterns aren’t subtle. They’re predictable. They’re textbook.It’s not rocket science — unless you’re blind to it, or emotionally invested in the fantasy instead of the truth. But his denial?That’s where the neuroscience gets interesting. 1. Denial Isn’t Ignorance — It’s a Brain-Based Defense Mechanism… Read More “It Didn’t Take My Psychologist Long to See It”: The Neuroscience Behind Denial in Abusive Behaviour