If an abuser suddenly claims that they still “love” you, have had therapy, and want to start a new relationship with you just before your court date, it’s likely a last-minute manipulation tactic. This is designed to create confusion and emotional pressure, potentially swaying your decisions or affecting your mindset going into the proceedings. It’s… Read More Last Minute Tactics
It’s truly heartbreaking to experience a situation where an abuser’s illness and the potential for financial gain lead to further manipulation, manipulation by others, and emotional neglect. It sounds like you’re dealing with a web of deceit, manipulation, and exploitation, which can be incredibly exhausting and emotionally draining. The fact that family members who have not been around… Read More Web of deceit, manipulation, and exploitation
When the abuser is in total denial, especially because you have returned multiple times before, it can make the situation even more emotionally and mentally exhausting. They may feel entitled to their behavior and believe that nothing is wrong because they’ve never been held accountable for their actions, either with you or with past partners (like an ex-wife). This lack of… Read More Why Denial is Common in Abusers
The abuser’s feelings and behavior in the days leading up to court can be complicated, and often they will be a mix of fear, anger, defiance, manipulation, or even false remorse. Understanding what they might be feeling can help you prepare emotionally and mentally for what’s to come. Possible Emotional Responses from the Abuser Before Court: How… Read More Possible Emotional Responses from the Abuser Before Court:
When you find yourself in a situation where you have no choice but to leave for your own safety, even though you don’t want to, that’s one of the hardest, most heart-wrenching decisions to make. Leaving an abusive relationship, even when it’s absolutely necessary, can bring up a whirlwind of emotions, and it’s important to honor what you’re feeling.… Read More Emotional Attachment and Love
Love is not a convenience. It does not turn on and off to suit the needs of those who only see relationships as transactional. When an abuser is in denial and has spread lies to friends and relatives, there is no going back. The damage is done, and the trust that forms the foundation of… Read More When the Abuser is in Denial: Love is Not a Switch
A serious serial abuser facing a double court appearance for criminal behavior is likely to be in full self-preservation mode, doing anything they can to manipulate the situation in their favor. Their tactics will depend on their personality, past behaviors, and level of desperation, but here are some common things they might do in the days leading up… Read More Protecting Yourself
The Last-Ditch Manipulation: When Abusers Fear Legal Consequences In the final stages before a legal battle, abusers often attempt one last desperate act of control. The message: “If XXXXXX and I have any future chance together, we must agree on something very soon. If the two trials go ahead, zero chance of getting together. I have… Read More The Last-Ditch Manipulation: When Abusers Fear Legal Consequences
Abusers often escalate their manipulative tactics before a court case, trying to sway public opinion, gain sympathy, and isolate the victim. This is a classic pattern—right before legal consequences or exposure, they scramble to control the narrative. Here’s what’s happening and how to handle it. Why Abusers Ramp It Up Before Court 1. Damage Control: They… Read More Control the narrative.
The situation you’ve described is a classic example of the toxic dynamics that often accompany financial and emotional abuse. It’s not only heartbreaking but deeply unsettling when the people around you, especially those in positions of power or influence, attempt to break you down in such a calculated way. The fact that he proudly spoke… Read More Repeat Behaviours
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 