The concept of the “sunk cost fallacy” often plays a role in why people stay in long-term abusive relationships. This fallacy is the belief that because you’ve already invested so much time, effort, or resources, you should continue, even when it’s clear that staying causes more harm than good. But remember, the time you’ve already spent in the relationship is gone. The most important thing is the time you have left—and how you want to spend it.… Read More Time
The first step is recognizing and accepting the reality of what’s happening. It’s common to rationalize or make excuses for the behavior when it’s someone you care about. But minimizing or denying the manipulation only leaves you more vulnerable to its effects. Trust your instincts, and validate your own feelings; if something feels wrong, it probably is.… Read More In Denial
Pleasure in Causing Harm Some individuals genuinely enjoy causing harm and chaos in others’ lives. This is particularly true for those with more severe psychopathic traits, who may take pleasure in the suffering of others. They derive satisfaction from manipulating people, watching them struggle, and feeling like they are the puppet master behind the scenes. This sadistic enjoyment can make their behavior even more dangerous and difficult to combat.… Read More Personality Traits and Characteristics of Toxic Individuals
Experiencing toxic behaviors like intercepting phone calls, smear campaigns, emotional blackmail, stalking, monitoring, and spying can have a profound and often devastating impact on a person’s mental, emotional, and physical well-being. These behaviors are forms of psychological abuse and manipulation, intended to control, intimidate, or undermine the target. The effects of such invasive and controlling actions can be long-lasting and far-reaching, influencing every aspect of a person’s life.… Read More Challenge Negative Beliefs
Returning to a family that loves them after escaping such a traumatic situation is a powerful moment for any survivor. It represents a return to safety, love, and belonging—things that were denied to them for so long. But the road to recovery is often long, and it requires a combination of family support, professional help, and personal resilience. By providing a stable, loving environment, the family can play a critical role in helping the person rediscover their identity, process their trauma, and rebuild their life on their terms.… Read More Creating a Safe Space
The criminal activities involved—identity theft, unlawful imprisonment, trafficking, and human rights abuses—are severe. Unfortunately, victims may be so fearful of retaliation or so demoralized that seeking help from authorities feels impossible. When every move is monitored, attempting to contact the police or an organization becomes a life-risking decision.… Read More Control of Identity and Freedom of Movement
What’s worse is that this behavior can feel manipulative to those being “bought.” Imagine being on the receiving end of someone who, instead of dealing with their own family problems, tries to fast-track you into their inner circle with gifts, money, or favors. It can make you feel like you’re being used as a replacement, a stand-in for the family they’ve alienated. And that’s not real love or connection—it’s a transaction that’s bound to feel hollow over time.… Read More Forge new connections
Devaluation: Over time, the partner may go from being idealized to being devalued. The abuser may start to belittle them, criticize them harshly, or compare them unfavorably to others. The partner may feel like they can never do anything right or live up to the abuser’s ever-changing standards.
Coldness: The absence of empathy can create a cold, detached atmosphere in the relationship. The abuser may be indifferent to their partner’s suffering, and they might even derive pleasure from seeing them in pain. This can be particularly evident in sadistic individuals, who enjoy the emotional or physical suffering they cause.
Constant Fear or Tension: The partner of a psychopathic or sadistic person often lives in a state of hyper-vigilance. They may never know what will set the abuser off or when the next bout of cruelty will come. This constant state of anxiety can take a severe toll on the partner’s mental and physical health.… Read More Dehumanization and Lack of Empathy
When victims are silenced, justice often remains elusive. Many survivors feel powerless to seek legal recourse, fearing that the system will not support them. In cases of sexual assault or domestic violence, the fear of not being believed or facing a grueling legal battle can prevent victims from coming forward. This not only denies them justice but also allows the abuser to remain unaccountable, potentially harming others in the future.… Read More Silencing
Sadism in a psychological context involves deriving pleasure from causing pain or suffering to others. In this case, the ex-prison officer may derive this pleasure through psychological harm rather than physical violence. Psychological sadism can manifest as emotional manipulation, gaslighting, humiliation, and degrading the victim over time. This slow erosion of the teenager’s mental and emotional well-being would provide the abuser with a sense of dominance and gratification.… Read More Sadistic Pleasure
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 