When the abuser is in total denial, especially because you have returned multiple times before, it can make the situation even more emotionally and mentally exhausting. They may feel entitled to their behavior and believe that nothing is wrong because they’ve never been held accountable for their actions, either with you or with past partners (like an ex-wife). This lack of… Read More Why Denial is Common in Abusers
The abuser’s feelings and behavior in the days leading up to court can be complicated, and often they will be a mix of fear, anger, defiance, manipulation, or even false remorse. Understanding what they might be feeling can help you prepare emotionally and mentally for what’s to come. Possible Emotional Responses from the Abuser Before Court: How… Read More Possible Emotional Responses from the Abuser Before Court:
Love is not a convenience. It does not turn on and off to suit the needs of those who only see relationships as transactional. When an abuser is in denial and has spread lies to friends and relatives, there is no going back. The damage is done, and the trust that forms the foundation of… Read More When the Abuser is in Denial: Love is Not a Switch
A serious serial abuser facing a double court appearance for criminal behavior is likely to be in full self-preservation mode, doing anything they can to manipulate the situation in their favor. Their tactics will depend on their personality, past behaviors, and level of desperation, but here are some common things they might do in the days leading up… Read More Protecting Yourself
Abusers often rely on manipulation, charm, and deception to maintain control, but the legal system—especially experienced judges, lawyers, and court officials—has seen it all before. While abusers may fool friends, family, and even some professionals unfamiliar with abusive dynamics, they struggle to maintain their act when facing trained legal experts who have witnessed countless similar… Read More Why Courts and Lawyers See Through an Abuser’s Facade
In situations where you’re dealing with manipulative individuals (often referred to as “flying monkeys” in abusive dynamics), it’s essential to handle any forms of hate mail or harassment with a strategic approach. Keeping these communications in the right hands—your lawyer and psychologist—can ensure that the situation is documented and that their tactics are properly understood before court. Here’s how you can… Read More Protect Your Mental and Emotional Health
The situation you’ve described is a classic example of the toxic dynamics that often accompany financial and emotional abuse. It’s not only heartbreaking but deeply unsettling when the people around you, especially those in positions of power or influence, attempt to break you down in such a calculated way. The fact that he proudly spoke… Read More Repeat Behaviours
This is absolutely classic abuser behavior—manipulation, false hope, and threats, all designed to wear you down and make you second-guess yourself. One minute, they’re claiming they’ve changed and still love you, and the next, they’re sending flying monkeys to deliver abusive, vile messages. It’s a desperate game—one they’re losing. The “I’ve changed” lie, the mixed messages,… Read More The “I’ve Changed” Lie: When Love and Hate Are Used as Weapons
If this pattern of behavior—trying to control finances or make decisions for others—has occurred with other older or frail family members, then it’s an even more significant concern. When someone is trying to take control over finances, especially with vulnerable relatives who may not be in a position to defend themselves or make independent decisions,… Read More Previous History
If you never received true kindness or remorse during the relationship, don’t expect it now. Any sudden display of affection, regret, or generosity is not genuine—it’s strategic. 🚨 They haven’t had a change of heart.🚨 They are managing the fallout of their actions.🚨 They are protecting their image, not repairing the damage. Everything is STILL Transactional A narcissist does not suddenly develop… Read More Don’t Be Deceived by the “Nice Act” During Divorce
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 