1. Empathy Turns Other People’s Emotions Into Your Responsibility Kind people have highly active empathy networks (including the anterior insula and anterior cingulate cortex).This means you don’t just understand how someone feels — you feel it with them. So when someone is upset: This makes kind people far more likely to ask, “What did I do?” even when the answer is nothing. 2. You Were… Read More Why Kind People Feel Guilt More Intensely
1. Reframe What You’re Doing (This Is Key) Guilt comes from a false belief: “I’m abandoning someone.”The truth is: you’re stopping unpaid emotional labour. In healthy relationships, care is reciprocal.When it isn’t, stepping back is self-protection, not cruelty. Neuroscience note: Guilt is often a conditioned response driven by the amygdala (threat/shame). When you reframe the story, the prefrontal cortex regains… Read More How to Disengage Without Guilt
(Psychological and practical meaning) When you find out that you are related to a family with influence, power, or a dangerous past, “protection” can have different layers. Some are emotional, some are symbolic, and some are practical. Below is what this experience usually means — and how to navigate it safely. 1. Psychological Protection: “I… Read More Being Given Protection From Newly Discovered, Connected Family
It starts innocently enough.You help. You lend. You sew. You bake. You listen. You fix. Before long, you’ve become the neighbourhood “Oh, she can do it!” “She’s got a sewing machine!”“She’s so kind — she’ll help you.”“Ask her, she’s the best!” And yes — you are the best.Until the day comes when you need help, and suddenly… tumbleweeds.The… Read More The Kindness Trap: When “Helpful” Becomes “Used-Up”
Self-respect isn’t arrogance or pride — it’s self-recognition.It’s knowing: “My time, energy, and love are valuable. I don’t have to beg to be treated well.” Psychologically, it’s the ability to hold your boundaries even when someone tries to guilt, shame, or confuse you into lowering them.You can still be kind — but you stop being a resource for… Read More 💎 1. What Self-Respect Really Means
Before you can set boundaries, it’s important to become aware of the subtle ways these manipulations sneak in. Here are some signs to watch for: How to Set Boundaries With Someone Who Plays Head Games or Seeks Attention Through Manipulation Why Setting Boundaries is So Hard — And Why It’s Worth It Boundaries can feel… Read More How to Recognize When You’re Being Pulled Into Head Games
By Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapy & Emotional Intelligence Advocate For years, I tried to keep the peace. I compromised. I adapted. I tried carp fishing. I went on repeat holidays. I ate in the same “safe” restaurants. All in the name of keeping someone else happy. The problem? You can’t make someone… Read More Reclaiming Your Joy: Why Living for Others Can Cost You Your Identity
There is something profoundly sacred about waking up in the morning and knowing — truly knowing — that you are free. Free to make your own choices.Free to move, to breathe, to live without needing permission.Free to see the people you love without fear, judgment, or restriction. For those who have lived under the crushing weight of… Read More Freedom After Control: Reclaiming the Life You Always Deserved
It sounds like you’re dealing with a challenging situation involving a relative who might be playing a manipulative or obstructive role, potentially with a hidden agenda. A “kangaroo court” usually refers to a setup where the process isn’t fair or legitimate, so if you’re feeling like this relative is trying to manipulate the situation or… Read More Stay Grounded in Your Truth
Ah, the classic meddling relative with a hidden agenda—one of life’s trickier puzzles. It can be incredibly frustrating when you’re trying to sort things out, make clear-headed decisions, and move forward, only to have someone interfering for their own benefit. These people can be subtle manipulators or outright disruptive, but either way, they can make… Read More Meddling Relative
