“Projection is the mirror of shame”

💔 The Art of Projection — When Your Abuser Accuses You of What They’re Doing You’ve finally broken free. You’re not rushing into another relationship — you’re rebuilding, healing, learning to feel safe in your own skin again.You’ve spent months (maybe years) in therapy, reconnecting with family, rediscovering what peace feels like. And then—out of nowhere—your… Read More “Projection is the mirror of shame”

Playing cruel games

When someone deliberately plays cruel games with a person who’s already survived horrific trauma, it’s not “just relationship drama.” It’s psychological harm that exploits vulnerability and the brain’s attachment systems. Below I explain the types of people who do this, the neuroscience and psychology behind it, concrete behavioral examples, the typical impact on trauma survivors, and practical… Read More Playing cruel games

Murder or Manslaughter

If someone intentionally poisons another with drugs (e.g., mixing a lethal dose of a drug or toxic substance knowing it could kill), this is more likely to be classified as murder.

If someone negligently gives another person drugs (e.g., providing someone with drugs that are unknowingly laced with a fatal substance), this might result in involuntary manslaughter, depending on their level of responsibility and awareness.

If someone provides drugs in the course of dealing or trafficking, and death occurs as a result of the drug use, the charge could fall under drug-induced homicide laws, which could lead to either manslaughter or murder charges depending on the specifics of the case.… Read More Murder or Manslaughter

Need for Control or Dominance

Some people thrive on control and dominance in social situations. They might feel powerful when they can catch others in a mistake or put them on the defensive. By doing this, they establish themselves as “better” or “superior” in the dynamic. This behavior can be more common in competitive environments, but it often spills over into personal relationships as well.

– Example: In a group setting, someone who constantly interrupts others, points out small errors, or questions everything might be doing so to assert control and dominance over the conversation, making themselves seem more knowledgeable or authoritative.… Read More Need for Control or Dominance

Insecurity in Disguise

Another common scenario involves birthdays. Birthdays are naturally about celebrating one person, making them a difficult event for a narcissist to handle. A narcissistic friend might show up late to the party – not because they were busy but because they want to make a grand entrance. All eyes suddenly shift to them, and the focus on the birthday person is interrupted. They might bring up a personal crisis or even hijack the party’s theme to discuss their own upcoming milestone (like their birthday), subtly shifting the celebration toward themselves.

In extreme cases, a narcissist may “forget” to acknowledge the birthday person entirely or give a gift that is clearly more about showcasing their own wealth or taste rather than considering the recipient’s preferences. In these ways, they reframe the occasion so that, rather than highlighting someone else, the event somehow becomes about them.… Read More Insecurity in Disguise

The Drama-Seeker: Addicted to Chaos

Special occasions – birthdays, weddings, holidays, and anniversaries – are times for joy, connection, and celebration. For most of us, these are moments we look forward to, opportunities to create lasting memories with friends and loved ones. However, for some, the chance to celebrate seems to come with a dark cloud: the chronic complainer, the drama-starter, or the person who always manages to shift the attention onto themselves in a negative way. Why is it that some individuals feel compelled to ruin special occasions?

Understanding this behavior requires us to look beyond the surface and explore deeper personality traits and emotional struggles that may be at play. What makes someone continually disrupt joy and harmony in others’ lives?… Read More The Drama-Seeker: Addicted to Chaos

Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Guilt-Tripping: They may also use guilt to manipulate others. For example, instead of directly asking for help, a passive-aggressive person might say, “I guess I’ll just do it myself since no one cares enough to offer,” making the other person feel obligated to step in.

Disguised Hostility: While passive-aggressive individuals rarely express their anger overtly, their actions often have hostile undertones. For example, they may “forget” to pass on an important message or arrive late to a meeting to undermine someone else.

Ambiguity and Evasiveness: They tend to avoid giving clear answers or taking a firm stance on issues. When asked a direct question, they might respond with vague, non-committal statements like, “I guess,” or “We’ll see,” which leaves the other person in a state of uncertainty.… Read More Passive-Aggressive Behavior

The Dark Triad

Characteristics: Machiavellianism is characterized by a manipulative and cunning approach to life. Individuals with high levels of Machiavellianism are strategic and calculating, often using deceit and manipulation to achieve their objectives. They are typically unemotional and focused on their own self-interest.

Behavior: Machiavellians are skilled at controlling situations and people to their advantage. They are often pragmatic, seeing moral or ethical concerns as irrelevant if they stand in the way of their goals. This trait is named after Niccolò Machiavelli, whose writings on political power emphasized cunning and duplicity.… Read More The Dark Triad

Projection

Projection is a psychological defense mechanism where an individual attributes their own unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or behaviors to someone else. This allows them to avoid confronting their own faults by externalizing them onto another person. When someone tries to get another person into trouble for something they themselves are guilty of, it is a classic… Read More Projection