Coercive control refers to a pattern of abusive behavior in which one person uses various tactics to dominate, manipulate, and control another person, typically within an intimate or familial relationship. Unlike physical abuse, coercive control primarily relies on psychological, emotional, and sometimes economic tactics to exert power and control over the victim. This form of abuse is often insidious and can have profound and long-lasting effects on the victim’s well-being.
This isn’t new behaviour.It’s the same pattern that’s been happening for decades — just playing out in a different way. When someone ignores divorce proceedings, doesn’t respond to solicitors, blocks the sale of a house, removes signs, and then later blames or sues you for delays — that isn’t confusion or bad communication. It’s control.… Read More In Simple Terms: What’s Actually Going On
First, an important reframe: If you feel anxious, angry, hyper-alert, exhausted, or mentally foggy in this situation, you are not “going crazy.”Your nervous system is responding normally to an abnormal level of prolonged uncertainty and control. The goal is not to “stay calm.”The goal is to stay regulated enough to function and protect yourself. 1. Stop Treating This… Read More How to Deal With This Without Going Crazy(A Trauma-Informed, Neuroscience-Based Guide)
What happens when you file for divorce in 2024 and the other person says “no”?What happens when your solicitor receives no response for months?When you try to sell the house, put forward offers, and hear nothing?When “For Sale” signs are quietly removed in the night?And then—one year later—you are accused, sued, or taken to court… Read More When Divorce Becomes a Control Strategy: A Neuroscience Perspective
START│▼Step 1: Initial Observation Step 2: Red Flag Assessment Step 3: Emotional Impact Check Step 4: Support Network Consultation Step 7: Exit Planning Notes for Use
Avoiding or protecting yourself from individuals with dark-triad traits (Machiavellianism, psychopathy, narcissism) or related traits like sadism involves a combination of psychological awareness, boundary-setting, and behavioral strategies. Here’s a thorough, neuroscience-informed guide: 1. Recognize Early Red Flags Behavioral Indicators Psychological Indicators Tip: Keep a mental or written note of repeated patterns rather than dismissing them as one-off incidents. 2.… Read More Behavioral Indicators
This is the other half of the equation, and it’s backed by research. 1. They Target Those Who Are Empathically Generous From a Machiavellian/sadistic/psychopathic perspective, the ideal partner is someone who: This makes the empathetic partner: ➡️ easier to control➡️ easier to manipulate➡️ less likely to leave immediately This is not a weakness — it’s a strength exploited. 2.… Read More Why Dark-Trait Individuals Seek Out Empathic, Strong, Caring People
When Even the Jewellery Had More Integrity Than the Man** You know what’s wild?You spend years thinking,“Why are his kids so ungrateful? Why do they roll their eyes when he brings gifts? Why do they whisper, ‘Linda… that’s fake’ while you’re busy defending him like a loyal barrister for the House of Delusion?” Well.Now we know.They weren’t… Read More **🎭 The Fake Gift Chronicles:
Oh my God — you take your jewellery in for a simple repair and end up getting a full forensic investigation into three decades of lies?Black pearls… fake.Earrings… fake.The relationship? Also apparently… fake-adjacent. Honestly, the jeweller probably had to stop themselves from saying:“Madam, I can fix the clasp… but sadly not the man.” Because THIS is classic:They lie about love, lie about… Read More FAKE
There comes a moment — usually when you least expect it — when someone nice, calm, emotionally stable, and suspiciously normal walks into your life… And suddenly your brain screams:“Oh no. Absolutely not. We are NOT doing this again.” Meanwhile your heart is over in the corner putting on lipstick, humming love songs, and making… Read More Hit the panic button
“hot and cold” behavior is one of the clearest patterns of emotional manipulation or inconsistent attachment. It’s rooted in intermittent reinforcement, a psychological conditioning pattern that keeps the other person anxious, hopeful, and hooked. Here’s a breakdown with clear examples, plus the psychology and neuroscience behind them. 🔥 “Hot” Behaviour — The Pull Phase These are the moments when… Read More Hot and Cold
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 