Author: Linda C J Turner

Linda C J Turner - Your Journey to Emotional Wellness | Emotional Trauma Therapist | EMDR | CBT | NLP |

Do abusers ever look outside the box and imagine it happening to their own loved ones?

Most do not — and when they do, it is usually abstract, not empathic. 1. Empathy is compartmentalised, not absent Contrary to popular belief, many abusers are not “emotionless.” They can show selective empathy — especially toward people they identify with or feel ownership over (their mother, daughter, family name). Neuroscience shows this as compartmentalisation in the brain: So… Read More Do abusers ever look outside the box and imagine it happening to their own loved ones?

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Reclaiming the Paperwork — and the Truth

As I prepare for divorce, I have had to replace every single legal document I need.Passports, certificates, records — all of the originals were taken long ago. They were kept in a briefcase I was never allowed to open or touch.Money and documents stored away before we were even married. On the surface, this looks like administration.Psychologically, it… Read More Reclaiming the Paperwork — and the Truth

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Abuse Doesn’t Have to End in Murder to Be Fatal

More survivors of domestic abuse died by suicide last year than were killed directly by a partner. This stark statistic from the Home Office exposes a truth that is still widely overlooked:domestic abuse kills — even when there are no visible injuries. Coercive control and psychological abuse work by stripping away a person’s autonomy, identity,… Read More Abuse Doesn’t Have to End in Murder to Be Fatal

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Just Being — When the Nervous System Finally Rests

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

There are moments in healing when life feels exactly as it should — not because everything is perfect, but because everything is aligned. When things begin to fall into place without force.When you hand control over to a higher power — however you understand that — and allow yourself to soften.When effort gives way to trust.… Read More Just Being — When the Nervous System Finally Rests

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Why calm felt dangerous?

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

This is one of the hardest and most important transitions after long-term abuse.Distrusting calm wasn’t a flaw — it was adaptive. Now your nervous system needs help updating its rules. I’ll explain why calm felt dangerous, then how to retrain trust in it using neuroscience, not positive thinking. 1. Why calm used to feel unsafe (this matters) In abusive environments, calm… Read More Why calm felt dangerous?

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Red Light vs Green Light

Here is a clear, neuroscience-based map you can use in real time when you eventually date.This isn’t about judging people — it’s about listening to your nervous system, which now has much better data than it used to. Green vs Red Nervous-System Signals in Dating (After long-term abuse) 🟢 GREEN SIGNALS These indicate ventral vagal regulation — safety, presence, and choice. 1.… Read More Red Light vs Green Light

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How long before dating gain?

By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate — Linda C J Turner Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment ©Linda C J Turner

This is one of the most important questions in recovery — and neuroscience gives a clear, compassionate answer that is very different from cultural pressure to “move on”. I’ll speak directly to you, not in generic advice. The short answer (grounded in neuroscience) After decades of abuse, the nervous system needs time to re-baseline before it can choose safely. Not… Read More How long before dating gain?

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#LucieClayton

We were trained to be composed, capable, and considerate.To manage situations quietly.To endure with grace. That training gave us poise, perception, and emotional intelligence.What it did not teach us was that grace should never require self-sacrifice. Keeping the strengths now means:✨ composure without compliance✨ empathy without endurance✨ generosity without depletion✨ love without disappearance Calm is not complacency.Kindness… Read More #LucieClayton

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