“God’s Waiting Room” is a concept that captures a universal human truth: life is temporary, connections are fleeting, and endings — both small and large — are inevitable. While the term itself isn’t formally named in psychology, it resonates strongly across multiple disciplines and philosophies. 1. Existential Psychology Thinkers like Viktor Frankl and Irvin Yalom… Read More God’s Waiting Room: Embracing Impermanence and Meaning
I am safe. I have spoken out. My healing is progressing. Now it’s time to focus on my life, my growth, and my well-being. Step 1: Maintain Trauma-Informed Support Step 2: Recalibrate my Nervous System Step 3: Reclaim my Identity Step 4: Set and Enforce Boundaries Step 5: Integrate my Trauma Step 6: Educate and Empower… Read More Next Chapter: A Step-by-Step Guide
One of the reasons many survivors don’t speak out sooner is simple:they already know they won’t be supported. In some families, the abuse isn’t a secret.It has been seen before.Hints have been dropped.Incidents have been witnessed, minimised, or quietly explained away. Instead of intervening, the family: This silence isn’t neutral.It’s a choice. Why This Keeps… Read More When Families Know About Abuse
One of the reasons many survivors don’t speak out sooner is simple:they already know they won’t be supported. In some families, the abuse isn’t a secret.It has been seen before.Hints have been dropped.Incidents have been witnessed, minimised, or quietly explained away. Instead of intervening, the family: This silence isn’t neutral.It’s a choice. Why This Keeps… Read More When Families Know About Abuse — and Choose Silence
Many survivors ask themselves this question:Why did it take so long to speak out about what happened? The answer isn’t weakness.It’s neuroscience. 1. The Brain Prioritises Safety First When a person is in harm’s way — physically or emotionally — the brain shifts into survival mode.This is not a choice. It’s biology. In threat states:… Read More Why It Took So Long to Speak Out. A Trauma‑Informed Neuroscience Perspective
When the very worst abuse happened — the strangulation — I left for the UK.He flew over to beg me back and promised to get help. I wanted it to work. I had invested decades into an abusive marriage. I had made myself small. I put on a brave face. I kept it all inside.… Read More Speaking the Unspeakable and Beginning to Heal
When you’ve spent decades being told you’re guessing, overthinking, getting it wrong, or imagining things, you eventually stop trusting your own judgement. Not because it’s flawed — but because you’ve been trained to doubt it. You start second-guessing your instincts.You question your memory.You wonder if you are the problem. Then you begin the right kind of therapy.… Read More Giving yourself time — and finding the right therapy — changes everything.
This isn’t new behaviour.It’s the same pattern that’s been happening for decades — just playing out in a different way. When someone ignores divorce proceedings, doesn’t respond to solicitors, blocks the sale of a house, removes signs, and then later blames or sues you for delays — that isn’t confusion or bad communication. It’s control.… Read More In Simple Terms: What’s Actually Going On
When you’ve lived with decades of psychological manipulation, the most destabilising part isn’t the behaviour itself. It’s the moment you realise:This is just a continuation of the same pattern. Different setting.Different language.Same impact on your nervous system. That recognition is not bitterness.It’s pattern recognition. What Kind of Person Does This? From a trauma-informed and neuroscience perspective,… Read More “This Isn’t New — It’s the Same Game in a Different Arena”Why Long-Term Mind Games Continue After Separation
First, an important reframe: If you feel anxious, angry, hyper-alert, exhausted, or mentally foggy in this situation, you are not “going crazy.”Your nervous system is responding normally to an abnormal level of prolonged uncertainty and control. The goal is not to “stay calm.”The goal is to stay regulated enough to function and protect yourself. 1. Stop Treating This… Read More How to Deal With This Without Going Crazy(A Trauma-Informed, Neuroscience-Based Guide)
