Abuse vs Cruelty in Long-Term Patterns When abuse spans years or decades, it moves beyond episodic harm and into entrenched cruelty. Cruelty is not a loss of control.Cruelty is sustained indifference to another person’s suffering. In long-term abuse, cruelty becomes: This is why it feels built in. Is it “DNA”? Not in a literal genetic sense — but structurally, yes, it… Read More DNA

Abuse is defined in psychology and criminology as a patterned use of power and control, commonly conceptualised as coercive control (Stark). It encompasses psychological, emotional, financial, and social behaviours designed to restrict autonomy and induce dependency. Physical violence may occur, but it is neither necessary nor sufficient to define abuse. Empirical evidence demonstrates that non-physical coercive control is a significant… Read More exercise of control.

Abuse control and violence Abuse is a pattern, not an incident.It is the systematic use of power to dominate, diminish, or destabilise another person. Abuse can be: Abuse does not require physical violence to be real or damaging. Control is the mechanism of abuse.In psychology and criminology, this is often described as coercive control (Stark, 2007). Control includes: Control is about entrapment, not conflict. Violence is… Read More Abuse control and violence

Let’s get one thing very clear. Illness — physical or mental — does NOT excuse abuse.Cancer does not excuse abuse.Grief does not excuse abuse.Stress does not excuse abuse.Trauma does not excuse abuse. From a psychological standpoint, this is not controversial. Abuse is a pattern of behaviour, not a symptom of illness. 🔹 Coercive Control (Stark)Abuse is defined… Read More Moral Disengagement (Bandura)

Let’s get one thing very clear. Illness — physical or mental — does NOT excuse abuse.Cancer does not excuse abuse.Grief does not excuse abuse.Stress does not excuse abuse.Trauma does not excuse abuse.A “bad time” does not excuse abuse. Abuse is not a symptom.It is not a coping mechanism.It is not caused by pain, loss, or diagnosis.… Read More Illness Does Not Excuse Abuse

I keep seeing apps and posts asking:“Was it my fault?”“How do I get him back?”“What did I do wrong?” Let me be very clear. If abuse, control, coercion, intimidation, or violence are present —this is NOT a relationship problem.It is NOT a communication issue.And it is NOT something an app, quiz, or checklist can fix. Abuse is not caused by asking the wrong questions, saying… Read More This Is Not a Relationship Problem — It’s Abuse

1. Who these scammers are (male & female) These individuals: Appear legitimate: well-spoken, educated, socially skilled Often middle-aged or older, fitting the demographic they target Can hold short-term respectable jobs (consulting, aviation, shipping, property, offshore work, engineering, “international roles”) Frequently move between locations and leave little paper trail They embed themselves physically in: Affluent towns… Read More The hook

More and more things continue to come to light — letters from people he knew in France, quiet disclosures, fragments of a past that was never fully visible. I lived with a man for 32 years and yet there were entire parts of his life I never truly knew. Only rumours — the ones I… Read More Clarity

Statement of Record (Supplemental) During a visit by my cousin, a tax rebate that I had paid was taken without my knowledge or consent. That rebate was then quietly passed to my nephew, with the instruction that it be paid into his daughter’s bank account. This was done covertly and without disclosure to me at… Read More Tax rebate

Living beyond your means at the expense of your partner is not generosity — it is entitlement. If I had not paid off his mortgage, he could not have afforded luxury trips, including taking his children to Florida. He could have afforded to remain in his home, but not the lifestyle he chose. He refused… Read More Living beyond your means