Waiting for someone who isn’t ready to commit often turns into putting your life, needs, and emotional security on hold while they figure themselves out… and there’s no guarantee they ever will.

A more grounded way to look at it:

You can care about someone deeply and still choose not to wait for them. You can leave the door open without standing in the doorway. You can say, “I want a committed relationship,” and mean it—without negotiating that down to fit someone else’s limitations.

What matters is this:

Are they actively moving toward readiness, or just comfortable keeping you in a maybe?

Because those are two very different situations.

If someone is:

consistent honest about where they are making real effort to grow or resolve what’s holding them back

…then giving them a little space and time can make sense.

But if they are:

hot and cold enjoying your presence without offering clarity avoiding commitment while keeping emotional access to you

…then waiting quietly becomes self-abandonment dressed up as patience.

A powerful reframe is:

Don’t wait for someone to choose you.

Choose yourself—and let them meet you there or not at all.

You deserve a relationship where commitment isn’t something you have to earn, convince, or wait indefinitely for.