This asymmetry is biological, not moral.
🧠 Survivor nervous system
Once danger is removed:
- threat input drops immediately
- cortisol begins to fall within weeks
- prefrontal cortex re-engages
- learning and integration resume
Safety is additive.
Each boundary enforced strengthens regulation.
➡️ Recovery accelerates because the nervous system is designed to heal when threat stops.
🧠 Abuser nervous system
Cruelty-based regulation depends on:
- access
- reaction
- dominance feedback
When access is removed:
- reward circuits collapse
- but no alternative regulation exists
- rewiring would require sustained discomfort and accountability
➡️ Decline is slower because the system resists change.
Key difference
- Survivor: regulation becomes internal
- Abuser: regulation was external and is now gone
This is why survivors often stabilise quickly while abusers appear to spiral or stagnate.
