| Self-Awareness | Reflective, open to feedback, adjusts behaviour when shown impact. | Believes he is “always right,” immune to evidence, feedback bounces off like rain on a waxed car. |
| Listening Skills | Actively listens, asks questions, remembers what matters. | Does not listen, does not observe, does not ask, does not learn — auditory system for decoration only. |
| Emotional Learning | Learns from past relationships, grows, evolves. | 32 years and still emotionally identical to day one. No detectable learning curve. |
| Empathy | Tries to understand others’ perspectives and feelings. | Cannot compute. Other people’s emotions treated as background noise. |
| Accountability | Takes responsibility, apologises, corrects behaviour. | Denies everything, blames others, rewrites events to protect ego. |
| Communication | Honest, transparent, open. | Defensive, circular, self-serving; prefers monologues over conversations. |
| Reality Testing | Balances emotions with facts; adjusts view when needed. | Constructs entire fantasy worlds: “Everyone wants me,” “She will never leave,” “I’m perfect.” |
| Adaptability | Can pivot, improve, compromise, negotiate. | Mentally locked in concrete. Prefers delusion to growth. |
| Respect for Partner | Values opinions, needs, boundaries, autonomy. | Views partner as extension of himself; shocked when she leaves. |
| Growth Across Time | Gets better with age — wisdom, insight, maturity. | A 30-year emotional photocopy: same behaviour, same denial, same rigid scripts. |
| Relationship Contribution | Collaborates, nurtures, builds a team. | Expects compliance; contributes confusion, projection, and chaos. |
| Ability to See Patterns | Recognises mistakes, connects dots, doesn’t repeat cycles. | Repeats identical mistakes with every partner, learns nothing from any of them. |
| Confidence | Grounded, earned through real behaviour. | Inflated, unearned, built on fantasy and selective memory. |
| Post-Breakup Behaviour | Reflects, grows, wishes the other well. | Shocked, confused, and convinced she left for someone else — because why else would anyone leave perfection? |
