You know them.
The ones who:

• Won’t lift a finger unless there’s payment involved.
• See every interaction as a transaction.
• Do the bare minimum — even in a marriage.
• Never offer emotional support, even to their own families.
• Are basically walking, talking “IOU” machines… except they never pay back.

🧠 The Neuroscience of Selfishness

Your brain loves reciprocity. It’s hardwired for cooperation and social bonding. When we give, oxytocin floods our system, creating that warm, fuzzy, “I’m part of a tribe” feeling.

But some people’s brains? Not so much.
For them, dopamine is only triggered by gains, not connection. Emotional generosity, practical help, even basic kindness — it’s like asking a cat to fetch your slippers. Possible, yes, but highly unlikely.

Their nervous system doesn’t respond to empathy cues the way most humans’ do. Mirror neurons — the ones that let us feel what others feel — might as well be on permanent vacation.

🤔 Psychology Meets Reality

Psychologically, these “all-takers” often operate from scarcity thinking: If I give, I lose.
Or they’ve learned early on that self-preservation means hoarding energy, affection, and resources — sometimes to the extreme.

The result? Relationships feel like a high-stakes negotiation instead of a friendship, partnership, or family bond. You give, they take, and the only thing overflowing is your eye-roll quota.

😂 Humor in the Hardwired Take-Take Brain

It’s funny in retrospect.

• They want emotional support? “Sure… I’ll charge by the hour.”
• They want your time? “Only if it’s on my schedule, with minimum effort guaranteed.”
• They want love? “Pay first. Maybe we’ll talk about it.”

And yet, as frustrating as they are, science explains it: their brains literally respond differently to kindness. Not laziness, not malice — just a very different neurological wiring.

🌿 Boundaries: The Brain’s Best Friend

Your prefrontal cortex thanks you every time you set a boundary.

• Say no without guilt.
• Offer help only when you want to.
• Stop negotiating with a brain that’s hardwired for transactions.

Because generosity and emotional connection feel great when the other brain actually responds. And your nervous system deserves more oxytocin, less eye-rolls.