🔎 Emotional Abuse Checklist (with Documentation Guide)

Type of AbuseExamplesTypical SignsPossible Evidence to Collect
Control & DominationMonitoring phone/social media; isolating from friends/family; dictating choices.Victim becomes socially withdrawn; fear of asking permission; loss of independence.Phone/text logs; witness accounts (friends/family); diary notes about isolation.
Verbal & Psychological AttacksName-calling, insults, mocking, yelling, gaslighting.Low self-esteem; confusion about reality; repeated apologies for “being wrong.”Texts/emails with insults; audio recordings; journal entries describing incidents.
Threats & IntimidationThreats of harm to victim/pets/kids; smashing objects; stalking.Hypervigilance; fear of partner’s anger; child anxiety or pet fear.Photos of damaged property; threatening messages; police reports; witness statements.
Emotional Neglect & WithholdingSilent treatment; withdrawal of affection/communication.Victim reports feeling invisible, unloved, punished for small things.Personal journal; screenshots of ignored messages; therapy notes documenting neglect.
Manipulation & CoercionBlaming victim; guilt-tripping; love-bombing/devaluation cycles.Victim takes responsibility for abuser’s actions; emotional rollercoaster.Written apologies forced by abuser; text evidence of guilt-trips; therapist/advocate notes.
Undermining Self-WorthConstant criticism; public humiliation; sabotaging success.Drop in work/school performance; reluctance to try new things; loss of confidence.Work records; colleague/friend testimony; written critiques/notes left by abuser.
Exploiting VulnerabilitiesUsing secrets/trauma; controlling healthcare; manipulating children.Victim fears disclosure of private issues; missed medical care; children fearful or hostile.Medical access records; messages withholding medication/money; family court filings; children’s drawings/statements.

⚠️ Note: Emotional abuse can be harder to prove than physical or financial abuse, but patterns + multiple small pieces of evidence (texts, diaries, witness accounts, therapy notes) often carry weight in court.

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