Watch for these signs before friendships collapse:
- Negative Comments About Your Friends
- Your partner constantly criticises or belittles people you’re close to.
- Comments may start subtle (“I don’t think she really likes you”) and escalate into open hostility.
- Planting Seeds of Doubt
- They tell you stories about what your friend “really said” or “how they looked at me.”
- There’s rarely proof, just insinuations designed to make you suspicious.
- Creating False Conflicts
- They repeat things you supposedly said to your friend (often twisted).
- They claim your friend has been talking about you behind your back.
- Pressuring You to Choose
- You’re made to feel guilty for spending time with friends (“you care more about them than me”).
- They frame it as loyalty: if you really loved them, you’d distance yourself.
- Shutting Down Repair Attempts
- When you try to fix things with a friend, the abuser feeds you new “evidence” to convince you reconciliation isn’t safe.
- They dismiss your desire to keep the friendship as “naïve” or “weak.”
- Sudden Group Shifts
- You notice entire circles (not just one person) pulling away after the abuser has contact with them.
- This points to a smear campaign spreading behind your back.
- Your Sanity is at Stake
- You end up walking away from the friendship because the stress and confusion feel unbearable.
- The “choice” to sever ties doesn’t feel like freedom, but like survival.
✅ If you check multiple boxes on this list, it’s not normal relationship drama — it’s a pattern of coercive control.
