You’re standing on the deck of a gleaming cruise ship, champagne flute in hand, dressed like the star of your own escape movie. The salty breeze ruffles your hair as you wave—oh, so elegantly—to the shore where your Past is left behind, looking… well, pitiful.
“Ladies and gentlemen, friends, new loves, and future adventures — today marks the official embarkment of The Upgraded Me on the ship of Finally Free.
To my Past — the drama, the abuse, the financial fiascos, and the never-ending head games — I bid you a fond farewell… from a very safe distance.
You’re stuck on the dock, watching as I sail away with all my dignity intact, my heart lighter than ever, and a playlist full of joy blasting through my speakers.
You tried to keep me anchored in pain, but darling, I’m the captain now.
To all those who doubted I’d make it here — who said I’d be lost without you — I’m here to say: I’m thriving, I’m sparkling, and I didn’t even need your permission to leave.
The buffet is amazing, the sunsets are stunning, and the company? Well, let’s just say I’m finally surrounded by people who actually get me.
So here’s to new horizons, fresh starts, and a future so bright I have to wear sunglasses — indoors, if I want.
Goodbye, Past. Don’t worry, we’ll keep your memories in the ‘What Not To Do’ folder.
Bon voyage to me! And may your shores be forever dull and drama-free — just like my new life.”
