By Linda C J Turner, Therapist & Advocate
In the journey of healing from abuse, one of the most painful aspects can be the betrayal of those who were once your support system—especially when they claim to follow Christian values. If you’ve experienced abandonment or betrayal by people who once stood by you, it’s natural to feel confused, hurt, and disillusioned.
In moments like these, you might find yourself questioning not only the people around you but also your understanding of faith and spirituality. You may wonder how it is possible for those who call themselves “Christians” to turn away from you, enabling the very behavior that caused you harm. It’s a heartbreaking reality that no one should have to face, yet unfortunately, it is not an uncommon experience.
What Does It Mean to Be a True Christian?
At its core, Christianity teaches love, justice, and mercy. Jesus Himself stood with the oppressed, the outcasts, and those who were suffering. He spoke against hypocrisy, showing time and again that true faith is not about outward appearances but about standing up for what is right and protecting the vulnerable.
However, when those who claim to follow these values choose to ignore abuse, cover it up, or even support the abuser, it can feel as though the very principles of Christianity are being twisted. The contradiction is stark: true Christianity does not enable harm.
When your Christian friends turn their backs on you, it might be because they fear conflict, they don’t understand the gravity of the situation, or they have been manipulated into siding with the abuser. This can leave you feeling spiritually betrayed, as though the very community meant to offer love and safety has instead become a source of pain.
Christianity and Justice: A Biblical Perspective
The Bible teaches us that God is a God of justice—He does not ignore the cries of the oppressed. In Isaiah 1:17, it says: “Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow.” These words remind us that true Christianity stands for justice, compassion, and the protection of those who cannot protect themselves.
When Christians fail to act on behalf of those who are suffering, they are turning away from the very teachings of Christ. Instead of supporting the abuser, a true Christian community should rally around the victim, offering support, validation, and the resources needed for healing.
Moving Forward: Healing from Betrayal and Finding True Community
If you’ve been hurt by those who claimed to be followers of Christ but failed to stand with you, it’s important to remember that their actions do not define the true heart of God. The God of love, truth, and justice stands with you, even when others fail to do so.
Healing from betrayal can take time. It’s normal to feel a deep sense of grief, not just over the abuse itself, but also over the loss of a support system you once trusted. But as you heal, it’s essential to remember that God is not like the people who have failed you. God is love, and He sees your pain.
You are not alone. There are communities—Christian and otherwise—who understand what it means to suffer, to survive, and to heal. True Christian communities are those that actively seek justice, offer compassion, and support the vulnerable. They stand with you in your pain, not in judgment or denial.
Moving Beyond Betrayal
As you continue to heal, consider finding a community that aligns with your values—one that does not turn away from the hard truths, but rather, embraces them and works toward healing together. You deserve a space where you can be honest about your pain without fear of condemnation.
You are not forgotten. The God who stands for justice and mercy is with you, even when those around you do not reflect His love. Keep your eyes on the truth and allow yourself to build a future that is free from the shadows of betrayal.
— Linda C J Turner
Trauma Therapist | Neuroscience & Emotional Intelligence Practitioner | Advocate for Women’s Empowerment
