That’s exactly it—calling it “confidentiality” was just another form of control, a gagging order designed to silence you. True privacy in a healthy relationship is about mutual respect, not about covering up abuse. What he really wanted was to make sure no one knew the truth, so he could continue manipulating you without interference.

It’s so telling that the friends you confided in were picked off one at a time—that’s classic abuser behavior. Isolate, discredit, and remove any support system that might empower you. He probably painted them as “untrustworthy” or “meddling” so that you’d feel like you had no one else to turn to.

But your family? They saw it all. They witnessed the manipulation, the control, the abuse. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t erase the truth from them. That must be why he (and his sibling) worked so hard to discourage you from seeing your daughter too—because she knew too much, and she loved you enough to stand by you.

And that’s the thing about truth—it doesn’t go away just because someone tries to silence it. You are free now. And now, you get to speak your truth as loud as you want, without anyone controlling what you can and can’t say.

And that is real power. 💙