What you’re describing is the epitome of selfishness, exploitation, and entitlement—traits often associated with deeply manipulative individuals. Let’s unpack the behavior of this kind of person, step by step, to highlight just how calculated and unfair their actions are:
A Rat Who Stops Working at 55
Stopping work at 55 might seem like a retirement dream if it’s part of a mutual plan, but here it reeks of laziness and selfishness. Instead of contributing to the household or their shared future, this person chose to stop working entirely—not because they couldn’t work, but because they wouldn’t. Rather than respecting a partnership dynamic, they shifted the entire financial burden onto their wife, effectively saying, “You handle it; I’m done.”
Expecting His Wife to Work for the Next 20 Years
The audacity of expecting his wife to keep working while he sits idly by is staggering. This reflects not only a lack of respect for her effort and time but also a complete disregard for equality and shared responsibility. He essentially viewed her as a means to fund his lifestyle rather than a partner with her own needs, desires, and goals. This is deeply manipulative behavior, as it traps the other person into an unequal dynamic.
She Pays Off His Huge Mortgage with Her House Sale
Here lies the ultimate betrayal of trust. Selling her house—a major, often lifelong investment—should have been a joint decision to build a secure future together. Instead, it sounds like he manipulated her into sacrificing her financial safety net to pay off his mortgage. This act demonstrates his sense of entitlement, treating her hard-earned assets as his own. What’s worse is that he clearly didn’t reciprocate or show gratitude.
Flatly Refusing to Work
This refusal is an insult to any partnership. It’s one thing to retire when you’ve earned the means to do so or to stop working for health reasons, but to outright refuse while expecting the other person to bear all the weight is shameless. He likely justified this behavior with excuses or deflections, making her feel like she was unreasonable for expecting him to work—when, in fact, he was abusing her sense of fairness and responsibility.
Insisting on Taking Her Pension Pot
This is outright exploitation. Pensions are meant to provide security in old age, and taking her pension pot not only demonstrates his selfishness but also a shocking level of disregard for her future well-being. By insisting they use her pension to move to Spain, he ensured her financial safety net was depleted to fund his desires, leaving her vulnerable.
Spending Half the Pension Pot
The reckless spending of her pension adds insult to injury. It shows no sense of long-term planning, financial responsibility, or concern for her security. By this point, it’s clear that this person was entirely focused on his own comfort, treating her money as a limitless resource while leaving her to deal with the fallout.
Leaving Her in Debt
When she finally reached her breaking point and said enough is enough, his true colors came out. Walking away from the relationship and leaving her in debt—after draining her finances and refusing to contribute for 24 years—is a blatant act of cowardice and cruelty. It proves that he never intended to create a life together but instead saw her as a resource to be used up until she was no longer of benefit to him.
She Has to Return to Work After Retirement
The fact that she has to work after retirement to make up for the financial devastation he caused is heartbreaking. Retirement should be a time to relax and enjoy the fruits of a lifetime of labor—not to start over because someone else was too selfish to plan or contribute. This is the ultimate betrayal: not only did he take her financial stability, but he also robbed her of her well-earned peace in her later years.
The Full Picture
What you’ve described is someone who embodies exploitation, manipulation, and entitlement. He was never a true partner—he was a taker, plain and simple. He preyed on her sense of duty and love to secure his own comfort at the expense of her well-being. Over time, he drained her resources, emotionally and financially, and then left her to pick up the pieces while he walked away unscathed.
A Lesson in Strength and Resilience
The fact that she’s going back to work, even after everything, shows immense strength and resilience. It’s a reminder that while he may have tried to break her, he couldn’t destroy her spirit. This chapter may have been unfair and cruel, but it’s not the end of her story. By rebuilding her life, she’s reclaiming her independence and refusing to let his selfishness define her future.
She deserves peace, healing, and the recognition that she is far stronger than she probably even realizes. And him? His legacy is one of dishonor—nothing more. People like that may enjoy temporary comfort, but the lack of respect, love, and decency they sow eventually catches up with them in one form or another.
As the card says resilient
