When a breakup or divorce is on the table, people suddenly seem more willing to share their real opinions. Often, they held back before because they thought they were protecting your feelings, keeping the peace, or didn’t want to create unnecessary friction. But once a split is imminent, people might feel a sense of relief in letting you know what they reallythought.

Hearing these belated confessions can be a mixed bag. It might feel validating if you had doubts or concerns of your own; in a way, it confirms that others saw the same things you did. On the other hand, it can bring up feelings of frustration or even betrayal, especially if you needed their honest perspective earlier on. Why couldn’t they have been upfront when you might have needed a supportive nudge?

Sometimes, these late admissions are also a reminder that people can be hesitant to share their full perspective until they feel it’s “safe” to do so. And, as much as it’s a difficult time, it’s also a chance to build a support system around the “you” that exists outside the relationship—people who’ll have your back in whatever path you take next.