The psychological sleight of hand that turns the mirror outward instead of inward. It’s one of the most common, yet insidious defense mechanisms people use, especially in emotionally charged environments like courtrooms. When someone uses projection, they’re essentially offloading their own thoughts, feelings, or behaviors onto someone else. It’s a way of saying, “It’s not… Read More What Is Projection?
Isolation is one of the most powerful weapons in an abuser’s arsenal. It doesn’t happen all at once but rather through a slow, calculated process that leaves the victim feeling alone, dependent, and trapped. The goal? To cut off support systems and make the victim believe they have no one else to turn to but the abuser. This article explores: How… Read More Reclaiming Your Freedom
What is Cognitive Dissonance? Cognitive dissonance is a psychological state where a person holds two or more conflicting thoughts, beliefs, or values, creating mental discomfort. To reduce this discomfort, people often justify, minimize, or rationalize their conflicting beliefs rather than change them. In an abusive relationship, cognitive dissonance occurs when the victim experiences both love and fear toward… Read More What is Cognitive Dissonance?
Serial abusers often fit a distinct and recognizable pattern of behavior, even though the specifics can vary depending on the individual. However, certain traits and tendencies can help identify these individuals, who repeatedly engage in abusive behavior across different relationships. Here’s a general picture of a serial abuser: The core issue with serial abusers is… Read More Serial abusers
Toxic Relationship Patterns and the Existential Crisis of an Abuser Toxic relationships often stem from deep-seated psychological and emotional wounds. Individuals trapped in these cycles—whether as victims or perpetrators—frequently exhibit patterns of unresolved trust issues, dependency, or fear of intimacy. In many cases, these unresolved emotional struggles manifest as abusive or dysfunctional behaviors, leading to… Read More Toxic Relationship Patterns and the Existential Crisis of an Abuser
Breaking Free from the Illusion: Recognizing Abuse for What It Is For many survivors of domestic abuse, one of the most distressing realizations comes not in the midst of the abuse, but after leaving it. Once the fog lifts, the full weight of what was endured becomes clear—acts of cruelty, manipulation, and control that had… Read More Breaking Free from the Illusion: Recognizing Abuse for What It Is
This Is Not Love: A Tactic of Control, Punishment, and Abuse Love is not meant to feel like betrayal, manipulation, and financial devastation. Yet, when an abusive partner senses they are losing control, they often unleash a relentless campaign of punishment disguised as heartbreak. If you have experienced the following, know this: this is not love.… Read More This is NOT love
It sounds like you’re dealing with a whirlwind of manipulative tactics, and honestly, it can be frustrating and exhausting to see someone continuously come up with different stories or claims to get a reaction from you. These shifting narratives—from the new girlfriend to health crises—are textbook manipulation techniques. Each one is likely an attempt to… Read More Jackanory
When someone who has been married for 32 years suddenly claims to have a girlfriend (or someone else in their life), especially when they haven’t actually been involved with that person, it can be a sign of several things. Understanding their motives can give you a clearer picture of why they might take such a… Read More New Girlfriend
If an abuser suddenly claims that they still “love” you, have had therapy, and want to start a new relationship with you just before your court date, it’s likely a last-minute manipulation tactic. This is designed to create confusion and emotional pressure, potentially swaying your decisions or affecting your mindset going into the proceedings. It’s… Read More Last Minute Tactics
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 