It sounds like you’re dealing with a whirlwind of manipulative tactics, and honestly, it can be frustrating and exhausting to see someone continuously come up with different stories or claims to get a reaction from you. These shifting narratives—from the new girlfriend to health crises—are textbook manipulation techniques. Each one is likely an attempt to… Read More Jackanory
When someone who has been married for 32 years suddenly claims to have a girlfriend (or someone else in their life), especially when they haven’t actually been involved with that person, it can be a sign of several things. Understanding their motives can give you a clearer picture of why they might take such a… Read More New Girlfriend
If an abuser suddenly claims that they still “love” you, have had therapy, and want to start a new relationship with you just before your court date, it’s likely a last-minute manipulation tactic. This is designed to create confusion and emotional pressure, potentially swaying your decisions or affecting your mindset going into the proceedings. It’s… Read More Last Minute Tactics
The Vindictive Mindset: When Arrogance and Self-Interest Define a Person Some people go through life believing they are superior to everyone else, yet they contribute little themselves. They judge, criticize, and look down on others—except when those people have wealth, in which case admiration suddenly replaces disdain. This kind of personality is not only toxic… Read More The Vindictive Mindset: When Arrogance and Self-Interest Define a Person
It’s truly heartbreaking to experience a situation where an abuser’s illness and the potential for financial gain lead to further manipulation, manipulation by others, and emotional neglect. It sounds like you’re dealing with a web of deceit, manipulation, and exploitation, which can be incredibly exhausting and emotionally draining. The fact that family members who have not been around… Read More Web of deceit, manipulation, and exploitation
When the abuser is in total denial, especially because you have returned multiple times before, it can make the situation even more emotionally and mentally exhausting. They may feel entitled to their behavior and believe that nothing is wrong because they’ve never been held accountable for their actions, either with you or with past partners (like an ex-wife). This lack of… Read More Why Denial is Common in Abusers
The abuser’s feelings and behavior in the days leading up to court can be complicated, and often they will be a mix of fear, anger, defiance, manipulation, or even false remorse. Understanding what they might be feeling can help you prepare emotionally and mentally for what’s to come. Possible Emotional Responses from the Abuser Before Court: How… Read More Possible Emotional Responses from the Abuser Before Court:
Love is not a convenience. It does not turn on and off to suit the needs of those who only see relationships as transactional. When an abuser is in denial and has spread lies to friends and relatives, there is no going back. The damage is done, and the trust that forms the foundation of… Read More When the Abuser is in Denial: Love is Not a Switch
A serious serial abuser facing a double court appearance for criminal behavior is likely to be in full self-preservation mode, doing anything they can to manipulate the situation in their favor. Their tactics will depend on their personality, past behaviors, and level of desperation, but here are some common things they might do in the days leading up… Read More Protecting Yourself
Abusers often rely on manipulation, charm, and deception to maintain control, but the legal system—especially experienced judges, lawyers, and court officials—has seen it all before. While abusers may fool friends, family, and even some professionals unfamiliar with abusive dynamics, they struggle to maintain their act when facing trained legal experts who have witnessed countless similar… Read More Why Courts and Lawyers See Through an Abuser’s Facade
Linda C J Turner | Trauma Therapist & Emotional Healing Specialist 