(Brain → function → outcome) 🔥 ANGER Purpose: protection and containment 🧠 Brain state 🧭 Function after trauma Anger says: “This should not have happened.” That is a healthy early response. 🧍 Behavioural expressions 🧠 Nervous-system effect This is why anger often comes before grief. 🌊 GRIEF Purpose: integration and release 🧠 Brain state 🧭 Function after trauma… Read More 🧠 ANGER vs GRIEF IN TRAUMA RECOVERY
(Defence ≠ disorder) 1️⃣ THE CORE ISSUE IS SHAME, NOT GRANDIOSITY At the centre of narcissistic-style defences is unprocessed shame. Not: The brain builds certainty as armour. 2️⃣ THE NEUROSCIENCE OF DEFENSIVE CERTAINTY 🧠 Brain mechanics Being wrong triggers the same brain response as danger. So the brain says: “Never be wrong.” 3️⃣ CERTAINTY AS A SELF-STABILISER… Read More 🧠 HOW “I’M ALWAYS RIGHT” LINKS TO NARCISSISTIC DEFENCES
1️⃣ The brain stops learning Neuroscience Result Certainty feels safe — but it is neurologically anti-growth. 2️⃣ The amygdala takes over Being wrong activates threat circuits. If your identity depends on being right: Brain pattern You’re no longer processing information — you’re protecting the self-image. 3️⃣ Dopamine rewards self-confirmation, not truth Each time you: …the brain… Read More 🧠 WHAT “I’M ALWAYS RIGHT” DOES TO THE BRAIN
(Brain → behaviour → relationship experience) 🟢 SECURE COMPANIONSHIP BRAIN “Connection is safe and mutual.” 🧠 Brain wiring ⬇️ 🧍 Behaviour in early interactions ⬇️ 🔗 Companionship pattern ⬇️ 🧠 Nervous-system effect on you 🔴 AVOIDANT COMPANIONSHIP BRAIN “Connection is useful but dangerous.” 🧠 Brain wiring ⬇️ 🧍 Behaviour in early interactions ⬇️ 🔗 Companionship… Read More 🧠 SECURE vs AVOIDANT COMPANIONSHIP BRAINS
1️⃣ Regulation is a resource the brain can sense Humans unconsciously scan for nervous-system cues. Your signals: To a dysregulated brain, this registers as: “This person can hold me.” That perception alone invites offloading. 2️⃣ Dysregulated systems seek external regulation People who lack self-regulation unconsciously use others to: They are not seeking companionship — they are seeking regulation… Read More WHY EMOTIONALLY REGULATED PEOPLE BECOME MAGNETS
1️⃣ CHRONIC STRESS / SCARCITY BRAIN (Financial stress, housing insecurity, burnout, emotional depletion) 🧠 Brain state ⬇️ 🧍 Behaviour ⬇️ 🔗 Relationship outcome 2️⃣ DOPAMINE-CONDITIONED BRAIN (Novelty, convenience, instant gratification culture) 🧠 Brain state ⬇️ 🧍 Behaviour ⬇️ 🔗 Relationship outcome 3️⃣ AVOIDANT / ENTITLED NERVOUS SYSTEM (Often unconscious, not always malicious) 🧠 Brain state… Read More 🧠 BRAIN → 🧍 BEHAVIOUR → 🔗 RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS
There are identifiable neuroscience and psychology mechanisms behind why so many interactions now feel transactional, one-sided, and emotionally empty. I’ll break this down clearly and without platitudes. 1. The brain has shifted from social bonding to resource extraction Humans evolved for reciprocal bonds. The nervous system expects: But modern stress rewires the brain toward survival efficiency instead of connection. Chronic stress does this… Read More Transactional, one-sided, and emotionally empty.
Here is a clear, evidence-based breakdown of real love vs. a financial parasite, grounded in neuroscience, psychology, and behavioural science, with early warning signs your nervous system often detects before your mind does. This is not about wealth.It’s about intent, reciprocity, and conscience. Real Love vs Financial Parasite (Neuroscience & Psychology) CORE DIFFERENCE (at brain level) Real Love “Your wellbeing matters as… Read More Real Love vs Financial Parasite
Calm feels threatening to these people because calm removes the very thing their nervous system depends on to feel real, powerful, or regulated. This isn’t metaphorical — it’s neurological. Here’s what’s happening underneath the behavior. 1. Calm Starves Their Reward System For people who provoke reactions, emotional intensity is the reward. Provocation → your reaction → dopamine.… Read More When calm unsettles someone
When someone openly admits they push your buttons “to see you react,” it’s not accidental or unconscious — it’s deliberate and rewarding to them. Here’s what’s happening neurologically and psychologically. 1. They Are Regulating Themselves Through Your Reaction For some people, especially those with coercive, antagonistic, or narcissistic traits, other people’s emotional reactions function as a… Read More Pushing your buttons
