This is a crucial piece of the picture — and one that causes survivors enormous secondary harm. Psychology and neuroscience explain family enabling very clearly. 1. Threat to the family identity Families function as identity systems, not just groups of individuals. When abuse is acknowledged, it threatens: The brain treats this as an existential threat, activating the amygdala. Under… Read More Why family members often enable abuse
This year, I am not missing Christmas. I am missing decades of abuse disguised as tradition. I am missing the lies, the isolation, the sabotage, and the deliberate cruelty that arrived every December like clockwork—and on birthdays too. This year, I will not be told that “there are no presents from friends or family because nobody really… Read More What I Will No Longer Lose at Christmas
How Abusers Disrupt Christmas, Birthdays & Milestones 1. Financial Interference 🎁💳 What it looks like Why they do itMoney equals autonomy. Cutting access restores control and creates panic. Early warning signs 2. Mail, Documents & Access Sabotage 📬🔑 What it looks like Why they do itIt’s covert, deniable, and leaves you feeling powerless. Early warning… Read More Holiday Sabotage Map
Let’s be honest — when imagining the “perfect man,” it’s impossible not to picture someone who stops you in your tracks. But perfection isn’t just in the mirror; it’s in the way he carries himself through life. Looks That Catch Your Eye He’s tall, proud, and confident without arrogance. His hair has that effortless style… Read More The Perfect Man: A Playful Guide
Divorcing is challenging under any circumstances. When abuse—emotional, physical, or psychological—is part of the relationship, it can feel overwhelming. Knowing your rights and the steps involved can help you protect yourself and your children, and make the process clearer. 1. Types of Divorce in Spain 2. How Abuse Affects the Process 3. Practical Steps for… Read More Understanding the Divorce Process in Spain When Abuse Is Involved
IN A MANIPULATIVE, DECEPTIVE FAMILY SYSTEM This type of daughter does not behave out of love, morality, or independence.She behaves out of conditioning, control, fear, and psychological fusion with the manipulative parent. Her loyalty is not chosen.It is shaped. Here is the research-based breakdown. 1. Enmeshed Child: She Becomes the Father’s Emotional Extension In dysfunctional families,… Read More PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE OF THE DAUGHTER
Genealogy has a way of teaching patience, persistence, and humility. You might begin with simple questions: Where did my grandparents come from? What were my great-grandparents like? But as you dig deeper, the answers can surprise, intrigue, and sometimes even shock you. Hidden Stories and Unseen Lives Family trees are more than lists of names and dates.… Read More Tracing Your Family Tree: Expect the Unexpected
Recently, while watching live music at a local nightclub with a long-time family friend, I was reminded of something powerful: the very first Christmas I spent in my new home and life in Spain. It was Christmas Eve — a time when friends and family were relaxing, preparing, and enjoying themselves behind closed doors. But… Read More The Last Christmas I Spent in Silence, and the First I Truly Celebrated
Because trust me: where there are fake pearls, there are always more surprises waiting to be discovered. And boy, one year after finally seeing through 32 years of living the lie, the surprises just keep coming. While I was splashing out on luxury holidays — Maldives, Iceland, and more, no expense spared — organizing extravagant birthday parties,… Read More Living the Lie: Luxury, Bargains, and Fake Pearls
Gratitude, kindness, etiquette, and manners are often seen as “soft skills,” but they are foundational to human relationships. These behaviors are not innate — they are learned through a combination of family upbringing, cultural environment, education, and sometimes formal training. Let’s break down how we acquire them. 1. Family: The First Classroom The family is the… Read More Where Do We Learn Gratitude, Kindness, and Manners?
