When you keep uncovering new evidence — after believing the worst was already behind you — your brain and body react as though the trauma is happening again. Each new discovery re-triggers the same stress hormones (cortisol, adrenaline) that were active during the abuse. That’s why it feels unbearable and endless; your nervous system is caught in what… Read More New Evidence
💔 The Art of Projection — When Your Abuser Accuses You of What They’re Doing You’ve finally broken free. You’re not rushing into another relationship — you’re rebuilding, healing, learning to feel safe in your own skin again.You’ve spent months (maybe years) in therapy, reconnecting with family, rediscovering what peace feels like. And then—out of nowhere—your… Read More “Projection is the mirror of shame”
“hot and cold” behavior is one of the clearest patterns of emotional manipulation or inconsistent attachment. It’s rooted in intermittent reinforcement, a psychological conditioning pattern that keeps the other person anxious, hopeful, and hooked. Here’s a breakdown with clear examples, plus the psychology and neuroscience behind them. 🔥 “Hot” Behaviour — The Pull Phase These are the moments when… Read More Hot and Cold
Let’s go deeper into the misattribution of arousal, its neuroscience, and how cortisol and emotional conditioning turn that initial thrill or anxiety into a powerful — and often dangerous — attachment loop. This is one of the most fascinating (and disturbing) examples of how biology can be hijacked by emotional manipulation. 🧠 1. The Original “Suspension Bridge” Study… Read More The Original “Suspension Bridge” Study (Dutton & Aron, 1974)
