One of the most common misconceptions is that abuse stems from uncontrollable anger. This belief suggests that abusers “lose control” in moments of heightened emotion, portraying them as volatile and unpredictable. However, the reality is far more calculated.

Abuse is not about losing control; it is about maintaining control. Abusers selectively direct their aggression and manipulative tactics toward their victims—often their partners or family members—while appearing composed in other areas of their lives. They don’t lash out at work, with friends, or in public because they understand the consequences in those settings. This selective targeting underscores that their behavior is deliberate, serving to exert dominance and instill fear rather than being an uncontrollable response to anger.… Read More Abuse as a choice!