Aspect	Healthy Arguing	Silent Treatment / Ignoring / Shutting Out
Purpose	Resolve conflict, express feelings, find solutions	Control, punish, manipulate, or avoid accountability
Communication	Open, direct, honest, with listening	No communication, avoids expressing feelings, leaves issues unresolved
Duration	Short-term, ends once issue is addressed	Long-term, may last hours, days, or indefinitely
Effect on Others	Both feel heard, emotions processed, relationship strengthened	Victim feels rejected, anxious, confused, or powerless
Responsibility	Both take responsibility, admit mistakes, compromise	One person refuses responsibility, blames, or gaslights
Emotional Regulation	Calm (even if upset), expresses frustration constructively	Avoids emotions by shutting down, uses silence as punishment
Conflict Outcome	Problem solved, understanding increased	Issues unresolved, resentment builds, emotional abuse possible
Intent	Repair relationship or express emotions	Control, dominate, manipulate, hurt, or intimidate

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Key Points

• Healthy arguing involves expressing feelings, listening, and working toward resolution.
• Silent treatment / ignoring is a form of emotional abuse when it’s used to punish, manipulate, or avoid responsibility.
• Occasional cooling-off is normal, but repetitive or prolonged shutdown is a warning sign of control and emotional abuse.