Why this exists
“This isn’t about judging anyone or protecting myself from imagined danger.
It’s about staying connected to me while letting someone show me who they are.”
I don’t rush.
I don’t scan.
I notice patterns — calmly.
🌅 After spending time together, I pause and ask
Without analysing or explaining:
- Do I feel more like myself?
- About the same?
- Or slightly dulled / effortful?
(Only the pattern over time matters.)
🌱 Signs of aliveness I notice naturally
Not perfection — just presence.
Do I see over time:
- Genuine warmth or humour
- Curiosity about people or life
- Emotional range (not just calm or irritation)
- Moments of play, ease, or shared joy
I don’t force these.
I let them appear — or not.
🔁 How connection flows
I quietly notice:
- Do they reach out sometimes without prompting?
- Do they follow emotional threads, not just facts?
- Do they offer pieces of themselves?
- Or am I always the one bringing the energy?
I’m not keeping score.
I’m noticing direction, not drama.
🤍 My body’s truth
When I imagine seeing them again, my body feels:
- Open and easy
- Neutral
- Or a little tight / braced
I trust this without dramatising it.
🚦 A gentle warning sign
I slow down if I notice myself:
- Managing the mood
- Editing my feelings
- Explaining instead of feeling
- Quietly lowering my needs
This isn’t failure — it’s information.
🌿 The anchor question
Am I becoming more myself — or more careful?
That answer is enough for now.
🌙 My agreement with myself
- I won’t override ease with logic.
- I won’t rush intimacy to create certainty.
- I won’t abandon my body to protect potential.
I let time do its job.
