Strangulation is not just “a scary moment”. It is a direct, intentional threat to life, even if the person survives.
1. Life-Threatening Behavior
- Non-fatal strangulation is a strong predictor of future lethal violence.
- Research shows survivors of strangulation are at much higher risk of homicide or severe injury later.
- The lack of visible injury does not mean it’s not serious. Internal damage and brain hypoxia are very real.
2. Minimisation Adds Harm
When someone says things like:
“I doubt he would kill you”
“It’s probably not that bad”
It often has these effects:
- Invalidates your experience and fear
- Creates self-doubt about the danger
- Delays seeking medical attention, therapy, or legal protection
- Reinforces abuser control, because the abuse is treated as trivial
3. Why Outsiders Don’t Understand
- Strangulation leaves few visible marks, so it is easy for someone without experience to dismiss.
- People often confuse emotional fear with physical danger. Strangulation is both immediate physical danger and a tool of control.
- Abusers may minimise themselves to others, making external observers less likely to believe the survivor.
4. The Survivor’s Truth
- Your fear is real.
- Your experience is valid.
- The act of strangulation is inherently dangerous — it does not require intent to kill to be lethal.
5. Practical Advice
- Seek medical evaluation, even if you feel “okay”.
- Document the event safely: date, time, location, witnesses, injuries.
- Use safety planning — assume the worst to protect yourself.
- Therapy can help you process the trauma while staying grounded in reality.
Bottom line: People who downplay strangulation simply do not understand the biology, psychology, and risk. Their doubts do not change the danger. Your instincts and precautions are correct.
