What’s Really Happening
- Denial or avoidance is often a defense mechanism. Witnessing abuse is traumatic, and some people cannot process it without distress.
- Blocking communication or refusing to engage is usually about their discomfort, not your credibility.
- Even if they have seen abuse firsthand, fear, shame, or unwillingness to intervene can make them pretend it didn’t happen.
Why Their Reaction Doesn’t Reflect Reality
- Abuse is real whether they acknowledge it or not.
- Their denial does not reduce the danger you faced or the risk you are in.
- Hoping someone will understand or act can be draining — and it’s not your responsibility to fix their denial.
How to Protect Yourself
- Stop trying to convince them
- Arguments and evidence rarely change people in denial.
- Energy spent persuading is energy taken from protecting yourself.
- Focus on allies and professionals
- Talk to those who validate and support you: therapists, advocates, medical personnel, friends who understand.
- Set boundaries
- You may need to limit contact with those who deny, block, or dismiss your experience.
- Example: “I cannot discuss this with someone who does not take my safety seriously.”
- Document your experiences safely
- Even if family denies it, having records (medical notes, photos, journal entries, witness statements) protects you legally and emotionally.
- Self-validation
- Remind yourself: My experience is real. My fear was valid. Their denial does not make it any less serious.
Key Takeaway
Some people simply cannot face the reality of abuse. Their avoidance or denial is about them, not you. Protect your safety, seek support, and do not rely on acknowledgment from those in denial.
