I’ve said a hundred times just let things settle for a bit I know for a fact he’s not staying in Moraira why would he? Yes exactly why would he still be where I live 15 months later breaking restraining orders and living close by ?????
Example Court Documentation Entry
Subject: Family Response to Disclosure of Ongoing Abuse
Date(s) of Communication: [Insert specific dates]
Family Member: [Insert name/relationship]
Medium: [Text/email/phone in-person]
Summary of Communication:
On multiple occasions, I informed [Family Member] about ongoing abusive behavior, including violations of restraining orders and proximity of the abuser to my residence.
The responses received consistently included statements such as:
“Just let things settle for a bit. I know for a fact he’s not staying in Moraira. Why would he?”
“At least you’re communicating then, must be so much to sort out with villa finances etc., what a shame when you’ve just started your new life but no point being miserable, life’s too short.”
Analysis of Family Member Response (Neutral, Fact-Based):
- Minimization of Abuse:
- The family member repeatedly downplayed the severity of the situation by framing it as minor inconvenience or financial concern.
- Such statements divert attention from the risk and impact of abuse.
- Deflection / Redirection:
- Attention was redirected from safety concerns to unrelated matters (finances, moving, “life’s too short”).
- This deflection reduces focus on immediate threats and the abuser’s illegal actions.
- Delaying Intervention:
- Phrases like “just let things settle” suggest postponement of action or acknowledgement.
- Delays increase risk to the victim by allowing continued proximity and harassment.
- Psychological Impact:
- The family member’s statements contributed to isolation and stress, which are common outcomes when victims’ disclosures are minimized or dismissed.
- Documented behavior aligns with known patterns of coercive control, where third parties may unintentionally or unconsciously reinforce the abuser’s influence.
Purpose of Documentation:
This record demonstrates that:
- The abuser’s control extends beyond direct actions, leveraging family minimization to maintain influence.
- Family responses contributed to ongoing exposure to risk.
- The behavior of family members is relevant context in understanding the abuser’s coercive control and the challenges faced by the victim in securing safety.
Supporting Evidence:
- Screenshots of messages/texts/emails
- Dates and times of communication
- Any related incident reports showing abuser proximity or restraining order violations
Key Notes for Court:
- Keep the tone factual, neutral, and non-judgmental.
- Focus on behavior and impact, not intent or character of the family member.
- Link statements to pattern of abuse and risk rather than personal conflict.
