What you’re describing is ongoing coercive control and harassment, not isolated incidents—and the fact that there’s a restraining order already in place makes this especially serious.
A few important things to name clearly (because this helps you stay grounded in reality):
- You are not overreacting.
- This is not “drama” or mutual conflict.
- This is a pattern of post-separation abuse, often called legal harassment or retaliatory stalking.
- Repeatedly breaching a restraining order to damage your livelihood is a deliberate strategy, not impulsive behaviour.
About your thought: “Maybe he enjoys going into the cells for a couple of days”
You may be closer to the truth than you realise.
For some abusers:
- Any reaction = control.
- Any contact with authorities = proof they still matter.
- Punishment without meaningful consequences = a game.
- Short-term detention can even reinforce the behaviour if it disrupts your life more than theirs.
This isn’t about logic or remorse. It’s about power, impact, and punishment-by-proxy (hurting your business, your peace, your reputation).
What matters now (practical and protective)
1. You are doing the right thing by reporting every breach
This is crucial, even if it feels repetitive or exhausting.
- Patterns matter more than single incidents.
- Seven reports show escalation and persistence, which strengthens your position legally.
- Do not stop reporting. Silence benefits him, not you.
2. Document like a professional case file
You may already be doing this, but if not:
- Dates, times, locations
- Photos of damage (with timestamps if possible)
- Witness names
- Police report numbers
- Any impact on your business (lost income, cancellations, repairs)
This turns emotional chaos into evidence, which removes his power.
3. Business protection
Because he’s targeting your livelihood, this crosses another line.
- Keep business and personal matters strictly separated.
- Inform a trusted neighbour, colleague, or nearby business to be extra observant.
- If possible, install visible security measures (even signage can deter).
4. Psychological framing (this is important for you)
Do not try to understand why he does this in an emotional way.
Instead, understand the function:
- To destabilise you
- To provoke fear or exhaustion
- To regain relevance and control
Once you see it as a tactic—not a mystery—you stop feeding it emotionally.
One very important reminder
People who breach restraining orders repeatedly are statistically more dangerous, not less—even if they appear “pathetic” or self-sabotaging.
That doesn’t mean panic.
It means:
- Stay alert
- Trust your instincts
- Prioritise your safety and stability
- Let the system accumulate consequences rather than confronting or engaging
