Abuse doesn’t come from strength — it comes from unresolved damage.
Physical, emotional, and financial abuse often stem from the same root: a need for power and control. That need usually develops when someone has never learned healthy ways to regulate emotions, tolerate vulnerability, or respect autonomy.
Abusive behaviour is commonly shaped by:
Early exposure to abuse or neglect — what was normalised becomes repeated
Unprocessed trauma — pain turned outward instead of healed
Insecurity and fragile self-worth — control is used to mask fear and inadequacy
Entitlement and learned beliefs — ideas that others exist to serve, soothe, or obey
Poor emotional regulation — anger, jealousy, and frustration managed through dominance
Fear of abandonment — control used to prevent loss rather than build connection
When abuse is physical, emotional, and financial, it’s rarely accidental or situational. It’s a pattern — a belief system that says:
“I am entitled to control you.”
Most abusers know exactly what they’re doing. They can behave appropriately at work, with friends, or in public. The abuse appears where they believe there will be no consequences.
Trauma may explain behaviour — but it never excuses it.
Healing requires accountability, self-awareness, and sustained change. Without that, the cycle continues.
Abuse is learned.
Respect is learned too.
And everyone is responsible for which one they choose.
