Abuse control and violence

Abuse is a pattern, not an incident.
It is the systematic use of power to dominate, diminish, or destabilise another person. Abuse can be:

Psychological (gaslighting, intimidation, humiliation)
Emotional (withholding affection, silent treatment, threats of abandonment)
Financial (restriction of access to money, sabotaging independence)
Social (isolation from friends, family, or support systems)
Legal/administrative (misuse of courts, false narratives, vexatious claims)

Abuse does not require physical violence to be real or damaging.

Control is the mechanism of abuse.
In psychology and criminology, this is often described as coercive control (Stark, 2007).

Control includes:

Monitoring movements, communications, or decisions
Creating dependency and fear of consequences
Setting rules that only apply to one person
Punishing autonomy and rewarding compliance

Control is about entrapment, not conflict.

Violence is one expression of abuse — not its definition.
Violence may be:

Physical (assault, strangulation, restraint)
Sexual (coercion, reproductive control)
Threatened (implicit or explicit)

Importantly:

Many abusive relationships are highly dangerous without frequent physical violence.

Research consistently shows that psychological abuse and coercive control are stronger predictors of serious harm and homicide than isolated physical incidents.

Critical Psychological Distinctions

Anger is an emotion. Abuse is a strategy.
Illness, stress, grief, or trauma do not cause abuse — they may be used to excuse it.
Mutual conflict involves two people with agency. Abuse removes one person’s agency.

This aligns with: