Part 1: The Exposé 👀
Mr Abusive insists he’s a very calm man.
You’ll know this because he tells you right after screaming, name-calling, or throwing a chair.
His “talents” include:
- 🎭 Name-calling as “emotional honesty”
- 🥄 Throwing things — just for fun!
- 🦴 Breaking bones accidentally… on purpose
- ⚡ Threatening as “communication”
- 🕵️ Blackmail as conflict resolution
Funny how he never loses control around witnesses. 🙄
Neuroscience calls this choice, not “loss of control.” Abuse isn’t anger — it’s entitlement with poor regulation.
💡 The punchline? He says he “can’t help it,” yet somehow expects you to.
Part 2: Why We’re Not Laughing Anymore 😶
At first, we laughed. Because humour is a life raft when chaos surrounds you.
We laughed at:
- Tantrums
- Dramatic door slams
- Excuses like “I just get passionate”
But laughter stops working when your nervous system realises it’s not a joke.
- Name-calling sticks
- Threats land
- Objects fly
- Fear becomes background noise
Your body says: This isn’t funny anymore.
💡 Healing means realising:
- You don’t need to make abuse palatable
- You don’t need to soften the truth to survive
- Laughter can return — at your journey, not at your pain
Free laughter. 🕊️
Part 3: Mr Abusive’s Dating Profile 💔
Username: HotTemperedHero99
Age: 70 something (emotionally 12)
Location: Wherever he can control you
About Me:
Passionate, intense, sometimes unpredictable.
I love debates that end in shouting and redecorating with flying objects.
Hobbies:
- Name-calling (creatively)
- Throwing things (just for fun)
- Guilt-tripping
- Collecting secrets
- Mood swings for excitement
Looking For:
Someone tolerant, endlessly forgiving, who enjoys walking on eggshells. Bonus points if therapy bills don’t scare you.
Fun Fact:
I never lose control in public. Private chaos is my specialty. 🎇
Ideal First Date:
Dinner at my place — I cook, I scream, I insult lightly, then maybe throw a fork.
Dealbreakers:
- Setting boundaries
- Standing up for yourself
- Not being terrified of me
Tagline:
“I’m not abusive — you just don’t understand my passionate side.”
💡 Final Note
Abuse is never funny — but exposing the absurdity, reclaiming laughter, and recognising patterns is healing.
💪 Laugh again. Not at what hurt you. At how far you’ve come.
🌱 Free laughter is your superpower.
