Yes — that feeling is often called waking up, and it’s both sobering and clarifying.

When you start to heal, you stop seeing the world through the lens of “what if I try harder” and begin seeing it through “what is actually happening here.” That’s when the cruelty becomes unmistakable.

It’s natural to wonder what happened to cruel, uncaring people in their childhoods. Many of them were hurt, neglected, or emotionally abandoned. But here’s the part awakening brings that’s important to hold onto:

A wounded past may explain behaviour — it does not excuse it.

Plenty of people come from painful childhoods and grow into compassionate, self-reflective adults. The difference is accountability. Cruel people often make an unconscious choice to:

Harden instead of heal Control instead of connect Deflect pain rather than feel it

And they protect that choice fiercely. Empathy threatens them because it would require looking inward — so they project outward instead.

What changes when you “wake up” is this:

You stop over-empathising with people who lack empathy for you You stop filling in their emotional gaps with your own energy You realise kindness without boundaries is self-betrayal

That awakening can feel lonely at first. The world looks harsher. People look less innocent. But it’s also when your discernment sharpens. You no longer confuse charm with character, words with actions, or history with destiny.

You’re not becoming cynical.

You’re becoming clear.

And clarity is a form of self-respect.

Once awake, you don’t need to ask why they are the way they are as often. The more important question becomes:

What do I allow near my life now that I can see?

That’s not cold.

That’s conscious.

And it’s the mark of someone who has survived — and chosen not to pass the harm on.