Sometimes partners don’t want to spend the holidays together — but the reasons can vary. Here’s how to tell the difference between benign circumstances and potential emotional manipulation:
Benign Reasons
- Work commitments or travel obligations
- Family responsibilities or logistics
- Personal health or stress
- One-time conflicts or unavoidable scheduling issues
✅ Key sign: They communicate openly, show effort to celebrate together another way, and acknowledge your feelings.
Red Flags / Emotional Manipulation
- Repeatedly avoiding holidays without explanation
- Making you feel guilty, unwanted, or insecure
- Using avoidance to control your actions, feelings, or decisions
- Patterns of inconsistency, emotional distance, or refusal to compromise
⚠️ Key sign: Their absence leaves you anxious or questioning your worth, and they consistently prioritize their comfort over shared connection.
Takeaway
- Occasional absence is normal — life happens.
- Repeated avoidance that causes fear, guilt, or stress may reflect manipulation or deeper relational issues.
- Trust your feelings: if something doesn’t feel right, it’s worth reflecting, setting boundaries, and seeking support.
Your holidays matter — and so does your emotional safety.
Do you want me to do that?
