1. The relationship accelerates before trust is earned
- Intense bonding very quickly
- Oversharing hardship stories early on
- “You’re the only one who understands me”
👉 Fast intimacy + slow responsibility = risk
2. Money enters the conversation early (even indirectly)
- Complaints about being broke, unlucky, mistreated
- Hints rather than direct asks
- Testing with small requests first
👉 Small asks are often rehearsals for bigger ones
3. Urgency + emotion are used together
- “I need help right now”
- A crisis that discourages you from thinking
- Guilt if you hesitate
👉 Pressure is not an emergency — it’s a tactic
4. Boundaries are subtly punished
- They withdraw when you say no
- You’re made to feel cold, selfish, or disloyal
- Affection resumes once you give in
👉 Affection tied to compliance is manipulation
5. Promises don’t match patterns
- Big future talk, no present action
- Repayment dates drift or vanish
- Excuses replace accountability
👉 Patterns tell the truth, not words
6. The balance is one-sided
Ask yourself:
- Who benefits more?
- Who sacrifices more?
- Who adjusts more?
👉 Healthy relationships self-correct imbalance
7. Your body notices before your mind
- Tight chest, dread, confusion
- Relief when they leave
- Anxiety around messages
👉 Discomfort is information
🛡️ A Simple Test (Use Early)
Try this once:
“I can’t help financially, but I’m happy to support you emotionally.”
Watch what happens next.
Respect = safe.
Anger, withdrawal, guilt = warning.
🧭 Rule to Live By
Anyone who sees you as a resource will resent your boundaries.
