Many people eventually notice a pattern in their relationships: listening fades, reciprocity disappears, and interactions are guided less by connection than by personal agendas. In some cases, relationships become transactional—people seek favors, free help, emotional labor, or casual intimacy without companionship. When boundaries are enforced or help isn’t available, these individuals often vanish, leaving the other person feeling used or abandoned.

Psychologically, this happens because not everyone relates through empathy. Some approach relationships through extraction, gravitating toward those who are generous, patient, or accommodating—not for genuine connection, but for gain. For good, conscientious people, this dynamic is particularly painful because it violates their expectations of mutual respect and reciprocity.

The solution isn’t cynicism; it’s discernment and boundaries. Kindness without limits can be exploited, while generosity with clear boundaries preserves self-respect. Healthy relationships rely on mutual presence, shared responsibility, and consistency, not one-sided benefit.

Being a good person doesn’t require self-erasure. Understanding these dynamics empowers you to give care intentionally, protect your energy, and cultivate connections that are reciprocal, respectful, and resilient.