1. Emotional Availability

•  Can openly express feelings without shame or fear
•  Comfortable with vulnerability
•  Willing to discuss emotions calmly

2. Trust and Honesty

•  Transparent about intentions and actions
•  Keeps promises and commitments
•  Shares thoughts and concerns without manipulation

3. Consistency

•  Predictable in behaviour and responses
•  Reliable in support and presence
•  Maintains boundaries and respects yours

4. Effective Communication

•  Listens actively and empathetically
•  Can discuss conflicts without escalation
•  Communicates needs and expectations clearly

5. Respect for Boundaries

•  Accepts your limits without resentment
•  Encourages independence and personal space
•  Does not pressure or coerce

6. Conflict Management

•  Addresses issues constructively
•  Takes responsibility for mistakes
•  Seeks compromise rather than control

7. Emotional Regulation

•  Can calm themselves when upset
•  Responds to stress without aggression
•  Supports your emotional regulation too

8. Empathy and Compassion

•  Understands and cares about your perspective
•  Offers comfort when you are distressed
•  Shows kindness in everyday interactions

9. Growth Orientation

•  Open to self-reflection and personal growth
•  Willing to learn from mistakes
•  Encourages mutual growth in the relationship

10. Alignment of Values

•  Shares core values and long-term goals
•  Respects differences without judgment
•  Prioritizes a healthy partnership

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Tips for Using This Checklist

• Checkmarks are guidelines, not absolutes; no one is perfect
• Look for patterns over time, not isolated moments
• Combine this with observing nervous-system safety signals — you should feel relaxed, valued, and understood