Category	Secure Attachment	Anxious Attachment	Avoidant Attachment
Core Belief	“I am worthy and others are dependable.”	“I am not enough; people leave.”	“I can only rely on myself.”
View of Self	Positive	Negative	Positive (often inflated)
View of Others	Positive	Positive/idealised at first, then fearful	Negative / mistrustful
Regulation Style	Balanced, calm, grounded	Heightened, overwhelmed	Shut-down, detached
Emotional Needs	Connection + independence	Reassurance, closeness, consistency	Space, autonomy, low emotional intensity
Communication Style	Clear and open	Emotional, expressive, can be reactive	Minimal, restrained, avoids vulnerability
Conflict Response	Address and repair	Panic, cling, pursue	Withdraw, stonewall, avoid
Typical Behaviours	Healthy boundaries	Overthinking, jealousy, seeking closeness	Pulling away, minimising feelings
Fear Trigger	Loss of connection	Abandonment	Loss of independence
Relationship Strength	Stable, supportive, emotionally safe	Passionate, loyal, but anxious	Independent, practical, but distant
Relationship Challenges	Rare; usually compatible	Needs reassurance, fears rejection	Low intimacy, emotional unavailability
With a Partner	Responds empathetically	Seeks closeness intensely	Keeps distance, inconsistently present
How They Handle Love	Give + receive easily	Loving but fearful	Controlled, limited
Breakup Pattern	Grieves, accepts, moves on healthily	Long grieving, rumination	Quick detachment, delayed grief
Compatibility Risks	Low	High risk with avoidants	High risk with anxious partners
Healing Path	Maintain boundaries, choose secure partners	Build self-worth, nervous-system regulation	Build emotional awareness, increase vulnerability

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🔍 Short Profiles

🟦 Secure Attachment

• Comfortable with intimacy
• Communicates needs clearly
• Regulates emotions well
• Trusts others but sets boundaries
• Seeks partners who are kind, stable, and consistent

Healthy + balanced.

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🟧 Anxious Attachment

• Fear of abandonment
• Can overthink or catastrophise
• Craves reassurance
• Sensitive to shifts in tone or behaviour
• Gives a lot, often too much

Big heart, but overwhelmed nervous system.

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🟥 Avoidant Attachment

• Emotional distance feels safer than closeness
• Prefers independence
• Suppresses emotions
• Struggles with vulnerability
• Interprets others’ needs as pressure

Self-protective to the point of disconnection.

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🧠 Why These Matter

Attachment isn’t about “good” or “bad” people.
It is about nervous system wiring formed in infancy, childhood, and past relationships.

Understanding styles helps you:

• predict patterns
• build empathy
• choose healthier partners
• and break trauma cycles