Facing Emotional Walls
Trigger: Partner repeatedly builds walls / rejects closeness
Brain Circuits Activated:
- Amygdala: Detects threat → triggers fear, anxiety, and stress responses
- HPA Axis (Hypothalamus-Pituitary-Adrenal): Releases cortisol → chronic stress, heightened vigilance
- Anterior Cingulate Cortex (ACC): Processes social pain → feeling of rejection, emotional hurt
- Insula: Heightened emotional awareness → bodily stress signals (tight chest, tension)
- Prefrontal Cortex (suppressed): Impaired reasoning, difficulty regulating emotions
Psychological Outcome:
- Frustration, anxiety, repeated attempts to reach out
- Emotional exhaustion, low self-esteem
- Feeling trapped, conflicted, or hopeless
Walking Away / Choosing Yourself
Trigger: Recognizing partner’s unavailability → choosing self-care and boundaries
Brain Circuits Activated:
- Prefrontal Cortex: Decision-making, self-regulation, planning → clarity and empowerment
- Ventral Striatum / Nucleus Accumbens: Reward system activated → pleasure from autonomy and safety
- Amygdala: Downregulated → reduced fear and threat response
- Hippocampus: Contextualizes the situation → learning and memory of safe boundaries
- Anterior Cingulate Cortex: Less activation → reduction in social pain and stress
Psychological Outcome:
- Relief, empowerment, and emotional stability
- Increased resilience and self-compassion
- Ability to form healthy, reciprocal relationships in the future
